Attracted to chinese girls

Feeling bored bumming at home the whole day. Actually waiting for friends to ask me out but nobody called. I guess they are busy with their own things. Watch television and take frequent naps were the time table for the day. During lazing around, i comes up with a revelation.

I found that i am attracted to chinese girls more than malay girls. I dont know why. Maybe because i am more interactive with chinese community than my own race. Since in my secondary school days, I mixed around with my chinese friends more than my malay friends and most of my close friends are chinese. Not that i dont have malay friends or wat but I am not that close with them. Its kinda "hi-bye" friends. Feeling more comfortable with my chinese friends. Learning chinese culture and knowing them bit by bit. Learning their language and all and i know at least 75% of chinese language but only listening. I am not saying malay girls are not attractive or wat, but i have soft spot for chinese girls. Adding to that, i found that most malay girls nowadays are on the brink of craziness. Not all though. At least by my experience, visually or hearing. I am very dissapointed to see those havoc malay girls who freely parading themselves and make a fool of themselves. They know its wrong, or maybe illegal, to drink but they still does that. That leads to being drunk and being taken advantage of. It is juz not rite. But every bad theres good. And i am saddened that the good malay girls are the minority. I am no angel i know but its not rite. Maybe thats one of the reason i find chinese girls very attractive. Before anybody jumps to any conclusion about me, i must say that this is my feeling and it is not directed to anybody. I think i must project my feelings on these, that i have been hiding so long. I know its very weird but its true. But lets just see how, as time reveals. To those who think my thoughts are crappy, i would love to hear your opinions. It certainly will help. For those who feel offended, i apologize. Sorry.

The other day during camp, Amir approached me and find me very uneasy and and felt something is wrong with me. And he is not the only one noticing that, Fred and Shahrul oso notice. Amir asked me why. Yes, honestly i feel very uneasy and stoning sometimes. But i do not know why. Theres some thoughts lingering in my head. Alot actually. I thought i could hide my despair during camp but Amir found it very noticeable. I just can't blurt it out coz sumtimes i myself dunno wat i am thinking about. But sometimes i juz wanna hide it. I am sorry if i am not myself lately and i am sorry if u find my uneasiness disturbing. Out..

Long Post: Leadership

Mood: Battered and Useless
Song: You by Amy Lee

Have juz finished a 3hr nap. Had to have that nap. After an enthrilling and unforgettable walk. Journey: McRitchie to Bukit Timah and distance covered was more than 14km i think. I do not know the exact distance but it was a very long walk. The walk was basically through a jungle. Went to the tree top walk at Bukit Timah, it was the highlight of the walk. Enchanting view of nature at its best. If the walk was correctly followed, we suppose to cover about 12km like that. Yah... my group got split up and lost our way. We eventually end up at Al-Ameen Bukit Timah where the bus need to rescue us out of our misery. My legs were screaming for help, i just can hear it scream.It still is. Amazingly at any point of the walk i feel quite good walking because if not for this chance presented to me, i wouldnt have achieve this kind of feat. Well, to say the least i actually enjoy the walk but it will be more enjoyable if the right path was used.

The nature walk was one of the itenary of the sports camp i attended. Felt a huge relief that the camp is over. The way i handle the camp was poor. I was put to charge since my capt and my vice capt appoint me to lead the team because of their absence. Well, i think they make a huge mistake by doing so. I was very ignorant and weak in my duty as in-charge. I was quite dissapointed with the team charachter and performance towards this camp, but i do not blame them as we were kinda forced to go this camp. Sometimes i wonder how i tolerate such behaviour. But i was more dissapointed on myself. The leadership skill were often seen scarcely performed. As my nature of "being too nice to people", my instructions were always ignored. Maybe i am too easy to take advantage. Seriously i cant seem to tell off people, i find that very hard to do. Furthermore its not nice to be angry at people, i find theres a better way to deal such things. And you wouldnt want me to be angry in front of you all, its ugly i tell you. Very ugly. I seriously think respect is achieve through respect. And if somebody is stubborn enough to not follow instructions, i think they will feel that small portion of guilty conscious. Well i am just being democratic here because i do not attain such qualities such as firm and stern to lead a team. How i wish i am autocratic as a leader but by the nature that i am i wont be. I learn a lot from this camp that its not easy to be charge of a team. I have failed and i feel sorry for the team for getting bad remarks from my charge.

Apart from that i have widened my social circle which i felt was the best thing in this camp. Would I have this camp done differently if i have the chance again? Maybe.. But to be around with friends in the camp, nothing beats that... Rest well people...

Lu Lian

Mood: Tired & Happy
Song: Losing my religion by REM

No more exams for me in my poly life. Will be enjoying that stage for the next 4 months or so. Had kinda celebration after my last paper last friday. Had Seoul Garden with my classmates inclusive of Jasmine and Pris. After dinner we went seperate ways. Me and Jas went to meet up Nerd, Yang, Madz and Rul. We walked from Fullerton to Lau Pa Sat. They had satay there but i didnt touch them at all coz i am freaking full. Diana and Meijie join us at Lau Pa Sat. Both of them were all dress up and very nicely dressed. They intend to go clubbing. After Lau Pa Sat, Diana and Meijie went Boat Quay and the rest of us went to Esplanade to chill. Below are some pics that we took.

Expected Failure

Mood: Static & Lost
Song: Dance with my father by Luther Vandross

An Exam consists of section A, B and C. Each section is worth 20, 50 and 30 marks respectively. Let Y be the event that a student fail in the test where passing marks is 50%. Let X be the event that the student fail miserably where he score less than 20%. In both events the case is independent.

a) Find the weightage where a student did half of section B, do anyhow in section A and do only one question out of 2 in section C?
b) State the probability the student fail in the above event.
c) If the student fail miserably, find the probability that he fail in section B, P(B/X)?

That is the sample of a dumbass module that i took and i am gonna fail miserably. I sense that. A huge sign of discomfort was in the air when the lecturer announced we have 15 mins to the exam. I can feel the tense in the room. As soon the lecturer announced that, my MCQ were totally blank. 10 MCQs questions. How do i not panic? And when the time lecturer signal the end of paper, everyone in the room feels as though we've been slapped by the lecturer. Total stunned. With mouth open staring what the outcome might have been. A total diasappointment. I am mentally drained by the last paper. Statistics make me cry. Probability of failing? Definite!!! Lets just wait. I seriously dont feel good. Really.

Exams Update:
I need a mountain of a luck in the last paper to make it thru. Tml is tuesday, so it means the end of so called exam. Altho theres paper on friday, it is the least important. After paper tml. its soccer time. But now Fluid Mechanics. Ok Go!!!

3rd Watch

Mood: Still sick & Silent
Song: Wish you were here by Pink Floyd

Finished my second paper last friday. Before exams are nearing Thermodynamics is a total stranger, but last few days Thermo is very close to me. Now i want Statistics to be as close. The paper was equally horrendous. At times during the paper, i froze and stare at blank air. I will be very happy if i get at least a C+. My flu worsens. Cough become a undesired hobby. And cough syrup is the undesired meal served. Not that i dont like cough syrup, but its quite irritating when u have a sore throat. By this tues i am hoping to be really relieve... Come tues all hel will break loose.... Tuesday, feed me!!!

Exams Update:
So far no good. A very gloomy start but atleast its progressing and it is coming to an end.

Sore Paper

Mood: Sick & Speechless
Song: Ridin' Dirty by Chamillionaire feat Krayzie Bone

I messed up my first paper that i would'nt want to discuss on it. Theres another paper dis friday and i am falling sick oredi. Sick becoz of insufficient time of sleep and inconsisitent timing of meals. I have oredi gulped down 2 tablet of panadol and i think it is not enuff. Gonna gulp another 2 more soon. Since exam has oredi started, i cant for it to end. Out....

Exams Update:
If i keep screwing up my paper, you will be sure to hear from me alot more everyday, screwing myself up. Bring Thermodynamics to me now!!!! Lets go!!!

Mood: Nervous & Excited
Song: The Beautiful Ones by Suede

Initially it was a tryout. Now it becomes my passion and life. Yes, i am talking about rugby. At first i thought i wanna make it juz a sport i wanna learn to play but the tenacity and tense that the game offer is juz breath taking. An offer that i couldnt resist. Now i want to take rugby seriously and hoping to spread the beautiful game to my family and friends. Grooming my little cousins to pick up the sport and all. One day i hope to represent a divison 2 team. And thats my goal. Or should i say TRY. I leave you with some pictures, ateam i learn to love. For those who is not familiar, they are from Italy and they are called Overmach Parma. Engage!!!

Examinations Update:

Mechanics 3 will be over in 48hrs time and i have only cover 2 chapters, Stress and Strain Circle and MR Polygon. Tommorrow will be another 2 chapters. Lets Do It!!!!

Cocktail Party

Somethings will be new... Check out the mood meter and the song choice. Mood meter refers the current mood i am having and the song choice is the song i want to intro to you all that i feel it contains special listening power.... And check out my Exams update below.... Kewl?...Enjoy....

Mood: Jumpy and Joyous new!!!

Song : Move Along by All American Rejects new!!!

It was a jolly fun party i must say. It was worth the wait. Had to dress up all formal for the party. I was all excited and jumpy before the party coz its been a while since the CIE peeps gather and mingle around. At first i met Diana juz before the party and accompanied her to print her name card and all. I must say she look stunning in all black. Phweet!! Then we procede to the party. I instantly smile with glee with some peeps. I think i have no problems interacting with them, using my 3 years experience of talking to strangers whom are also tourists. It is well supported with a talkative mouth i have. Well i can be very quiet with strangers but when you know me well, it will be an enjoying experience talking to me. Inclusive of lame and crappy stuff that is. Well the party went smoothly and quite surprise my lecturer approached me and complimented me on my social skills. She revealed that my peers told her that i am a good socialist. I am very grateful to that. CIE peeps rocks!!! There are some pics below, enjoy!!!

Examinations update new!! :
Yesterday did some studying. Yah miracle rite?!!? I studied with Pris, Ass, Nerd, Jasmine and Winnie. Covered 2 chapters of ThermoDynamics and for the first time this sem i felt so satisfied. Good Start Shahrin!!! Keep it up!!! And the part that i have to maintain is the hardest... hahaha

Party looks cool hor...

Mingle Around SessionSome of the CLS girls

A happy family of CIE How lucky can i be? Diana-Me-CherylDiana&Cheryl
Cheryl-Me-Yongqi-My lecturer

Ichibawa w/o KC

Nation's Red

Well.. today is of course a special day. No, not because its national day. Its because i have to study for my GEMS test tml. DIY PC, the most suckiest GEMS i ever took. For those who are in SP, never choose the above GEMS. Don't say i never warn you all. I feel its too early to study now, so i rather relax first. But wait, later theres parade to watch. Ah... nvm... after parade can study.. hehe.. I am so lazy now... Argh.!! Fcuklah... i go do my GEMS quiz first then see how.. If i got bored again... i think you all will be reading another post from me later... And as a warning i do get bored easily.. hahaha.... Ah shuddup Shahrin!!!!

Life can be easier than these but i chose otherwise.......

Borrrred

Coz I am bored....

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

How am I feeling today?
SOS(rescue me) by Rihanna

How do my friends see me?
Words by Bee Gees (Am i that talkative?....)

Where will I get married?
Thank you for the venom by My chemical romance (Wah sounds creepy...)

What is my best friend's theme song?
Redefine by Incubus (Fine would be better... w/o the rede)

What is the story of my life?
Life is wonderful by Jason Mraz (hmmm...)

What was secondary school like?
Its going down by The X-Ecutioners

How can I get ahead in life?
Roll the dice by Course of nature (LOL... hahaha)

What is the best thing about me?
Lip Gloss and Black by Atreyu (Lip Gloss?.... Hahahaha)

What is today going to be like?
Oriental Love by Masterboy

What is in store for this weekend?
Unconditional by The Bravery ( nothing beats a weekend w/o conditions)

What song describes my parent(s)?
Cigarette Smoke by Arctic Monkeys (how ironic... )

To describe my grandparents?
A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Pressley

How is my life going?
Holla back girl by Gwen Stefani ( does it mean its havoc....)

How does the world see me?
Signs by Snoop Dogg featuring Justin Timberlake

Will I have a happy life?
Two steps behind by Def Leppard (how sad..)

What do my friends really think of me?
Open your eyes by Alterbridge

Do people secretly lust after me?
Holiday by Greenday

How can I make myself happy?
My immortal by Evanescence

Will i ever have children?
Wherever you will go by The Calling ( That means plenty sia... i will be everywhere.. hehehe)

All these were done through boredom. But some of the answers are hilarious. Some are just appropriate. Hehehe...
I was right, that my mum has planned something for me for the weekend, that is today. She planned me to do housework. How interesting!! I wash my bed sheets and pillow covers. Air the pillow outside. Vaccumed the whole house and tidied up my room. Well, thats about it. Doing my sample flyer later. It will be good i promise you all.

France's Italy

Let me tell you about what i did yesterday....
I had a test early in the morning. A test that i didn't even prepare. It turn out better than expected. Got hope!! After test, my class officially ended. It ended around 10am. I had to wait for Zie to end her class because me having dinner with her after her class. Slacked in school with the normal people. After much slacking it was 5pm where Zie ended her class. Then we head to Boon Lay's Swenson. Let's recap. I lost a bet to her that's why the dinner happen. Yeah i took France in the World Cup Finals. She took Italy.

Well we had a scrumptious meal. She had Caesar's Fish Salad. I had Creamy Salmon and Mushroom Spaghetti. Then we shared Banana Crumbled Ice Cream. The whole dinner thing was proper and i really had fun. We chatted and shared our views. Laughter after laughter. A simple dinner. We went Jurong East after that, accompanied her to buy mascara. Then we parted home. That is the first time i had dinner with a girl. As in a proper two person dinner. Felt a bit awkward at times but i pull it through at the end. Its not that easy especially with the feelings involve. But afterall i am willing to accept she's my little sister. Well... again i fell short. Cool with it though. Spilled milk are not worth the cry.

Good things do end

I dream about you a fortnite ago. In that dream you made me jealous but deep down i still love you. It looks as though i want my dream to include you everytime i sleep. If that is the case, i want to live in a dream. Sadly good things do end. As difficult as it may seem to forget you, you kept returning to my thoughts. Emo songs seems so wrong right now. Well i made my decision, and let's just see whether my decision is the right. Btw i saw you just now on my way to gems and the feelings never felt so awkward before. Its you... Yeah you... My heart still cries for you... Damn!!!

Positive

Yesh!! I have removed my stitches. Want to say its irritating but it looks fierce. Went to Clementi Polyclinic after my 2 hour lesson in school yesterday. Oh yah... You know who accompanied me? Of course my best friend, Pris. Thanks for your company. Really appreciate it. After that we zoomed to Lido McCafe to slack. Jessica joined us shortly. After about an hour of slacking, i accompanied them to do manicure. Its quite an interesting thing actually. Ironically, 3 person ask whether Pris is my girlfriend. Hehehe... Remember last month i guess, theres an incident involving me and her oso where a china women ask whether we are married. I cant stop giggling. Well, i am very happy to announce that my best friend is attached. She is on cloud nine now and i am very happy for that. Stay happy Pris. Well, for me... dun worry... i think i'll find one soon. Hehehe.... These are some pics...

Bored wating for my turn in Polyclinic

Stitches Removed

Enjoying a brownie at Lido McCafe

Jessica & Priscilla

Pris enjoying her chunky chicken sandwhich
No... I never paint my nails... dun worry...
Waiting for manicure