Attracted to chinese girls

Feeling bored bumming at home the whole day. Actually waiting for friends to ask me out but nobody called. I guess they are busy with their own things. Watch television and take frequent naps were the time table for the day. During lazing around, i comes up with a revelation.

I found that i am attracted to chinese girls more than malay girls. I dont know why. Maybe because i am more interactive with chinese community than my own race. Since in my secondary school days, I mixed around with my chinese friends more than my malay friends and most of my close friends are chinese. Not that i dont have malay friends or wat but I am not that close with them. Its kinda "hi-bye" friends. Feeling more comfortable with my chinese friends. Learning chinese culture and knowing them bit by bit. Learning their language and all and i know at least 75% of chinese language but only listening. I am not saying malay girls are not attractive or wat, but i have soft spot for chinese girls. Adding to that, i found that most malay girls nowadays are on the brink of craziness. Not all though. At least by my experience, visually or hearing. I am very dissapointed to see those havoc malay girls who freely parading themselves and make a fool of themselves. They know its wrong, or maybe illegal, to drink but they still does that. That leads to being drunk and being taken advantage of. It is juz not rite. But every bad theres good. And i am saddened that the good malay girls are the minority. I am no angel i know but its not rite. Maybe thats one of the reason i find chinese girls very attractive. Before anybody jumps to any conclusion about me, i must say that this is my feeling and it is not directed to anybody. I think i must project my feelings on these, that i have been hiding so long. I know its very weird but its true. But lets just see how, as time reveals. To those who think my thoughts are crappy, i would love to hear your opinions. It certainly will help. For those who feel offended, i apologize. Sorry.

The other day during camp, Amir approached me and find me very uneasy and and felt something is wrong with me. And he is not the only one noticing that, Fred and Shahrul oso notice. Amir asked me why. Yes, honestly i feel very uneasy and stoning sometimes. But i do not know why. Theres some thoughts lingering in my head. Alot actually. I thought i could hide my despair during camp but Amir found it very noticeable. I just can't blurt it out coz sumtimes i myself dunno wat i am thinking about. But sometimes i juz wanna hide it. I am sorry if i am not myself lately and i am sorry if u find my uneasiness disturbing. Out..