Move Along

Well this will be the part where the ending reel rolls down and the director's name is being mentioned again. And yet things move on. I must say i must move on and not pursue what i have always wanted. Its not being negative but plain realistic. Even not a tinge of feeling, not even a drop can be drained out. Instead a lot that have been mentioned does not lead to me. Its very sad and hurtful for me but shall i wait and feel the same negative feeling? No, i think this is the time i move on. Some things must be set and altho my heart feels heavy to let it all go, i think this is the best option. I shant wait no more. And i shant find no more. I shall move on and wait till my life decides again. My life have decided on you initially but looking at current situation, life have chosen a random one. I stretch to you, my life. Please lead me on. Love is a dirrty word and it just sneaked unto me and killed me. Dead...

Viewers Discretion Advised

I juz return home safely from my trip. But theres some things that i brought back home with me. 9 stitches on my head. A very long and deep one. Its all from a tackle i made in the match. Its a bloody affair i tell you. I was fetched by the ambulance after my clash. Amir was there to accompany me in the ambulance. On our way to ambulance a lot of things run thru my mind. Will i be ok? Will the stitches be very painful? Traces of my family, friends and her, suddenly appear in my mind. I even voice out to Amir that I m scared and as always he comforted me with his 'dun worry'. Upon reaching the clinic, i felt nervous but the feeling of scared subsides. It was a painful ordeal though. Thanks to all my rugger frens who help me during my ordeal.

Nerd, if u read this... i am doing quite fine on cutting down the number of cigarettes i smoke. Soon it will be no more.. i promise u bro... Its not that i dun want to share my problems with you all, but i don't want to make you more worried. Its okay bro, i am very happy that you comment me on my smoking and i am very honoured by your concerned. Thank You Bro....

And lastly this section is for her. I know you are in a lot of problems rite now. PLS PLS Stop smoking.... its endangering your health... remember the sickness you encounter for weeks... Its not worth it... People still loves you... Your family ... Friends... You take care.... Confession would not make things any better.... I shall wait...

Bon Voyage

Tommorow i shall embark to a journey nearby with my fellow teammates. Johor that is. We will be staying there 3 days 2 nites. Why you may ask. All because of a friendly rugby match against UTM (Technological University of Malaysia). In the last meeting, we fair quite poorly but this time around we hope to salvage something from it. Guys i'll be away on school duty so i am gonna miss you guys. I will mis my MSN. Missing my friends and of course that someone coz theres no MSN to interact and an overseas call might be costly. But i will be back on Sunday night. Till then, Adios...

Free Time

About Myself

My Name: Muhammad Shahrin aka sha_phat or rain
Hobbies: Rugby, writing poems and chill out with friends
Schools: MJ, MSS, ITE TP and SP
Work: Singapore Cable Car station assistant
Horoscope: Aquarius
Hair Colour: Brownish brown
Skin Colour: Dark brown
Status: Single
Last 5 digits of my mobile: 84259
Your birthday: 7 Feb

Have You...

Tried smoking: Yes
Drink Alcohol: A Big NOOOOO..... NEVER!!!!
Been hurt emotionally: Yes, sometimes..
Kept a secret from anyone: Yup..
Been on stage: Yes... those were the priamary school days...

Favourites

Colour: Red, Green and Black
Food: Nasi sambal goreng & Kway tiao goreng
Number: 17
Cartoon: Hmm transformers maybe....
Song: A lot... i have a huge collection
Movie: School of Rock & Big hit

Right now

Wearing: Parma jersey and Canter shorts
Hairstyle: Mohawk with a tail
Looking at: MSN in my com
Thinking of: That somebody who is sick...
Listening to: Jason Mraz's Life is wonderful

Do you believe in

Love: Maybe...
Faith: Very much so...
Yourself: Hmm.. i will hesitate to answer but sometimes...
Angels : Yess...
Ghosts: I think so...

In the last 24 hours

Wore jeans: Yes... to bay beats
Clean ur room: Nope... its still not messy yet
Cried: No... if so oso it will be happy tears bcoz got to hang wif the lamers... woohoo...
Met someone new: My friend's friend
Last person i talked to on the phone: Ahmad, asking what bus number goes to Woodlands

Love life

Have a secret admirer: Not that i know of
Do you wanna get married: Of course!
How old you wanna be when u wanna have kids: 28-30
How many kids do you want: 2 or 3
Do you have a crush: A paiseh yes...
What do you want most in relationship: Understanding and love

In Random

Favorite local footballer: The legend, Fandi Ahmad
3 ppl you run to when u have problems: Ass, Nerd & Matreps
3 things you do when you are stressed: Smoke, Go out & Draw
3 prominet qualities of myself: Humorous, Lame & Friendly
What would you do if you have a million dollars: Start a family and business
Are you jealous or insecure freak: Jealous but i m insecure sometimes but definately not a freak
Favourite secondary school teacher: Mrs Nancy Ong
People you like to se doing this: Adeline, Priscilla, Bernard, Zie, Shaiful and whoever who blog..

L-O-V-E

Well, what is there in store for me about love? Basically nothing though. A man with no credentials about it pondering about it. Its like fishing in the swimming pool, you get nothing but a gazely stare from onlookers. It all goes down to love. But its kinda hard that i like that somebody and i don't get the return. Its like clapping with one hand. But on the other hand, i did mirror myself. What have i to offer? Without looks, without appeal, without brains, without stable income. So what can i offer? Well, in my view, i can offer humour and heart but most of the time my views does not give a damn. It's what people think is important. Well here i nags about love but i think i am not the only one. I just have to let it all out on how frustrating it can be when someone you like does not hav the same feeling. Maybe i am being selfish here.

"My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me." -Hands Down by Dashboard Confessionals

I M SORRY

Public Apology
---------------

Juz before i leave for skool dis morning, i feel with the greatest unease for what i have done to someone. I juz cant stop thinking abt it. I suppose to return the call but instead i fall in my theatre of dreams. As soon as i woke up it was not the 5mins that was agreed upon to. Infact it was way beyond that. I hate myself now for doing that. I feel really really bad. I am sorry. Really really sorry. Very very sorry ok.... But i think sorry isnt gd enuff. I will make up for it. I promise i will accompany you and talk with u tonite again. This time i won't be dozing off. I promise. You take care of urself.

F***

Okay this is it!!! I shall confess... I have been smoking quite profusely lately. Mainly because of the depression i encounter. The pressure the personal encounter, all those pester me. My attitude change a lot. I am not what i use to be. Where is the friendly Mr. Nice guy Shahrin. Where? Where is my interest in studies anymore. All lost. I am trying to find myself. Still finding. Sometimes i find that i dun belong where i belong now.

Woosh!!

A defeat sure takes toll on me. The feeling of yesterday's defeat still lingers. The loss have left us second in the group and set a match with the Combined School. A lot of things must be revised and rectified. All those silly mistakes made must be looked upon intensively. Our discipline just falls apart. But the loss did spur on to set a clash with Safsa again in the finals. Semis will be a crucial one. Very crucial. We must be one. Very discipline to go against the odds. The odds came piling but it can be overcome. Come on SP!!!! whoosh!!! Btw we receive our new jersey y'day. Below are some pics of the jersey and some parading them during warm-up.


Now back to my life. After a hectic week of catching up of studies i discovered that i am well behind time in terms of understanding of my modules. That really infuriates and irritates me. I'll be back soon. Very very soon. The fire of studying just dissapeared, blown by the wind of stubborn led by myself. I need something to ignite that fire again. A spark will do the trick. Still finding...