r41nmaker crib

Moving Out...

2007-02-27T20:42:00.000+08:00

Moving on greener pastures

D is for Design

2007-02-26T15:08:00.000+08:00

What have I been doing lately?

Designing and sourcing for more designs. Nothing much though. Above is one that I boredly improvised. There are 10 words in the poster. Can you figure them out? Have fun...

You are still missed!!

NV

2007-02-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

I don't think i will pursue it
I know its wrong...
If it aint mine then
please divert my attention
before i fall any deeper
I admit i fell but its juz temporary
It juz feels wrong...
Its hard to forget
It always appear
Now it is testing me
So let me be strong

Will you?

2007-01-29T22:33:00.000+08:00

Curious minds kept asking
Assuring them with, "I am okay"
Do I look like something bothering me?
Even my parents see it...
"Nothing... its nothing.... just thinking..."

Will you ever speak to me again? I wonder

Apparent

2007-01-18T01:07:00.000+08:00

I seriously think that its so obvious...

Now, everyday i woke up, i know something is wrong...

It aint perfect anymore.... How i wish its otherwise...

Tire Spoke

2007-01-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

At this very moment, i am feeling lousy and extremely sad.

Yah to sum it all up... I feel hurt...

Below is a verse from Christina Aguilera - Hurt

Enjoy!!!

Would you tell me I was wrong?

Would you help me understand?

Are you looking down upon me?

Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I want to do

To have just one more chance

To look into your eyes and see you looking back

Blankets won't reduce the coldness

2007-01-07T04:42:00.000+08:00

The words are unspoken yet its hurtful.

Not seeking yet you are hiding.

Have myself covered yet am colder than before.

Its brief yet apparent.

i need someone to spill it all out to coz i can't keep it, its unhealthy...

Wise Move

2006-12-26T20:36:00.000+08:00

Click here for more DND pics

"Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens..." - Jimi Hendrix

Hmmm...

2006-12-19T22:55:00.000+08:00

I have feelings for somebody but I aint telling anyone...

Seductive

2006-12-18T12:22:00.000+08:00

Fall Hard

2006-12-16T11:12:00.000+08:00

Looking at you is like living a new day everyday.....

Cold Attention Affects

Thorn Hurts

2006-12-16T10:42:00.000+08:00

How does it feel like tasting the fruit you never like before? Durian's a killer. Puking out and being challenge in the test of courage are all associated. Changing places of destruction. Flying cakes and plunging water hose.

Happy Birthday Bro.....

stubborn me

2006-12-10T19:10:00.000+08:00

" Go and see doctor....

Don't play for saturday's match....

Promise....?"

she says for the umpteenth times

Feel the heat

2006-12-03T15:03:00.000+08:00

(Click here for more)

I have opened an account from multiply so i can store pics for viewing. Enjoy!!

Weekend is spend thinking about the probability of completion of FYP. Feeling quite scared and nervous about the outcome. Decided to blog because there are load of pictures to be uploaded. The week that has just left, leave me with something to ponder. The emptiness of life without any purpose. Where's the purpose? It could be possibly stood in front of me. But it is too risky to pursue. All these include feelings. The feeling clock is ticking and it can't stop even a second. At times it plunges twice as fast. Why?

Feelings are now deeper, you can't see me digging

PR

2006-11-27T22:07:00.000+08:00

Personal Revelation

I feel uneasy making people around me dissapointed especially close friends and family and i get very disappointed on myself easily.
I am normally cheery and all smiles and it is quite obvious if something is wrong with me. Close friends of mine should know.
I feel very happy when people around me take time to talk to me, even a small chat will brighten up my day. I can talk about everything and if i feel uncomfortable about some issues i will voice out so don't worry.
I feel paranoid if people around me does'nt talk to me.

Late appointment

2006-11-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

The matress has been a good friend of mine these few days, reluctantly not letting me go to school early. All the setting of alarm clock with my handphone is redundant. My ever so reliable fingers will acknowledge it by pressing the "OK" button and still the matress will hug me. Thats how intense my ordeal is every morning. Late coming has been a routine lately without feeling a tinge of guilt. What has happen to me? Is school becoming unimportant? The mentality just took a curve and change drastically. Whenever i vow not to be late, it turns out otherwise. Things must change!!! Well it is easier said than done though. I'll update you all with the changes if any. Haha...

At this opportunity i would like to touch on things that lately i made a revelation on. I found that every individual will not be satisfied with what they have attained as they can do much better than what they have done. This matter arise due to "theres still room for improvement". Although i always face this kind of situation, i think i should be thankful with what i have attained. But then again dissatisfaction leads to disappointment. We are bound to face disappointment in life but i think its how high you gauge yourself. If you gauge yourself high then the possibility of falling hard is higher. I am not new facing disappointment, kept falling and theres few hard ones. But by falling i learn that one must be prepared to fail to minimise the burden of disappointment. So, if you feel disappointed of yourself not perfoming, think again. =)

Drowning Pool

2006-11-07T21:18:00.000+08:00

In fact, I was wrong to dive into this restricted pool. It was of my own wrongdoing that I will definately be sentenced. Time holds the verdict which will cruelly be exposed. Will I drown in this pool or will I remain afloat? Time, i seek your guidance.

Please weigh the equality...

Black Spree

2006-11-01T10:37:00.000+08:00

Went shopping yesterday after school, accompanied by Diana and Dom. We went to Heeren first for our shopping spree. Diana bought black slippers coz her shoes are killing her blistered feet. Then we headed down to Canterbury and bought this bag.... Black color...

After that we went to HMV to search for some CDs. I bought mine but Diana didnt get hers there but eventually she get it at Sembawang CD at Cineleisure. I bought these two titles....

We had dinner at Taka foodcourt. I had vegetarian food while Diana and Dom had japanese food. After dinner we headed to Far East where Dom bought a sling bag. And guees what... Its black.. Ironically we all bought black items. Well, you cant go wrong with black. Leave you with a quote:

"If you know what to wear, wear black. If you don't know what to wear, wear black.."

One's loss is another's gain

2006-10-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

Frequent readers of my blog might ask where the hell am I and why is this blog left not updated. Due to my busy schedule of FYP, rugby & life, i could not find ample time to update my blog. *Excuses*... A lot happened in the 2 weeks period that I was away.

Firstly, most of them do not know about my vice captain appointment except whom are very close. Well, appointment leads to responsibility and it requires respect as well. Things are getting better in a result of last training.

Secondly, things are looking much brighter in our FYP. Each of us have generated conceptual ideas in 3D form to be presented to our supervisors tommorrow. We are very anxious to showcase our ideas and hope they like it. *Fingers Crossed*

Last but not least, I have been following the SP netball team on their journey to POL-ITE games. And here i would like to congratulate them in their job well done. Although they lost to TP in the finals, they gain silver for their efforts. Proud of you all, girls. The defeat gave me full motivation in my games though. TP will be our biggest rival and i will rise up to that challenge. Theres no holding back for me. I will train hard and play even harder. So, TP ruggers out there, beware of SP because we have nothing to lose.

Not a good start

2006-10-10T22:31:00.000+08:00

A video i shoot when i was working on the 7th of Oct 2006. Enjoy!!!

Although the haze factor is slowly fading, my life is still in a daze. Appointment leads to sacrificial effort and it all starts in the first day. I could'nt bare to witness the politics again. Enough is enough. Their egoistic dreaming gets the better out of them and attitude sours. All i need from you all is respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I even spell it out. I just need to leave the place with glory and happiness. Well, f*#k glory... Happiness is just i need. Left with disgust.

Hazel Nut

2006-10-06T23:42:00.000+08:00

Problems seems to be a high agenda in my life now. It does affect direct and indirectly. And when it accumulates it surely packs a punch. It does hurt like hell.v Theres a few that i would like to mention but i will start with FYP.

My final year project bothers me alot. Some may not see me worrying about it but i would'nt wanna show. Our project's progress is slow but yet progressing. I have drawn a few sketches but lately creativity doesnt sink in so i resort to other means like relaxing my mind doing other things but project. Other means like reading a novel, playing games, watch videos and etc. Not that i dun want to do but i dun really believe in doing things forcefully as in forking design ideas. Time will surely tell. Have been looking thru the net and goldfire but to no avail. This is true and it is not an excuse for me to get away from things that my supervisor strongly claims that we are giving excuses. Initial part is the worst part but if the start is smooth then it will sail throughout. Come guys, we can do it!!! I am sorry if i dont contribute much.

Secondly comes a very close friend of mine. I am sorry everything does not fall into place for you. It sure feels sux when wat u plan, failed. Summore i was of no help when u ask for opinions. I feel your great deal of disappointment. I shant rant no more as it will make things worse.

Last but not least comes our nation's haze problem. It is a talk of the town nowadays as the haze thickens by the day. It will surely jeopardise the health of our nation. If the problem persists then preventive action shall be introduced.

Journey begins

2006-09-24T16:19:00.000+08:00

Today we, muslims, usher in the holy and wonderful month of Ramadhan, also widely known as the fasting month. Within this month practices and behaviour are taught to be delicate and very cautious. It is to avoid any wrong-doing. This cleansing month is my favourite month of course. Gonna be good this 30 days and if anyone, just about anyone, see me doing things wrong please be free to advise me. That would help. Thank you.

The pictures below depict the activities that i have embarked in. Enjoy... And one more thing i have updated my other blog. Click here

Broken Halo Ring

2006-09-16T13:35:00.000+08:00

As usual, trainings have lift up its intensity. The last training was equally intense as the first one. A jog around the school spells the warm-up of the day. It was followed by 10 sets of 150m sprints around the track and each set must be below 40secs. That was the icing to our nightmare cake. Nonetheless all that does pay off, because i saw my improvement in stamina. I would struggle jogging just 2 rounds the track before, but i found out on friday that i have less difficulties doing 4 rounds of the track. So, theres one week left for the fitness test and i hope to achieve my maximum standard of fitness. I want to make that prop position my own and i am willing to risk it all.

Enough about rugby. Next in the topic will be academic. I did horrendously in the last exams but i managed to pass all. This sem was the lowest scoring sem thruout my poly life. But i know what was about to come. Laziness and slackness of me contributes a lot to the downfall. Who to blame? Myself of cos. However i am feeling contented and would like to wheel myself towards my objective, that is entering university. With god's will.

Lastly, i would like to touch a bit on my personal feelings. I guess its a mounting task to make myself feel contented. Its never easy. How contented would I be? I cant even measure the level of content. People around me surrounded with discontent about everything else. What i would love to see? People around me feel happy. Thats all. Stay cheery guys.

California Fitness

2006-09-12T11:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the first day of training in the school holidays. Within these two weeks holidays fitness will be put to test. Talking about fitness makes me weak everywhere. Nonetheless i will stay commited to the team and attend all the trainings. Yesterday's training was a torturous one for us. We were suppose to start the fitness training gradually, as time moves on, the more intensive it gets. Obviously our coach does'nt read the script and we started with an intensive one. What we were told to do:

Run 5 rounds of the field that cover about 2km
6 sets of running of the ball that covers about 1.2km
Basic tackling and how to get away from a tackle
One on one full tackle which consist of 8 times
4 against 4 game which consist of 10 times

By the end of the training, all were feeling drained out and exhausted. Some even vomitted after the 6 sets running. I was okay but seriously feeling over exhausted. But i have a minor injury now. During the 4 vs 4 game i landed my body awkward on my elbow and kinda strain my elbow. Now it cant fully close or fully stretch. Tommorrow there will be another fitness session and i was told we will be running on slopes. Wow... How interesting... Wish me luck guys...

Changes

2006-09-10T17:43:00.000+08:00

I have changed my template of this blog to make it look more refreshing. I hope you all like it. Another thing is that i have just opened a new blog. No, its not a replacement of this blog but its my so-called picture blog where i explore my picture taking talent. This Blog will still goes on and the other blog shows only pictures. For those who are not keen on pictures, would just give it a miss. For those who have such passion, do visit. Thank you. Click here

Head of the house

2006-09-10T00:42:00.000+08:00

2 weeks of holidays left just lik a blink. Today marks an important day for me as i embark the duty among duties. I am named the head of the family standing in for my dad in his absence. Right now as i am blogging, he is on the way to Mecca doing his pre-pilgrimage also known as Umrah. My family had a proper lunch together which we seldom had before he left. We went to Hajah Maimunah for lunch just before sending my dad off. Well, as i was driving towards the eating place, my dad leave some words that really set me aback.

"In my absence, you will be the head of family and it is your duty to look after and protect the family. Look after mum and your two brothers. Don't stay out late as mum will be alone at home. Look after grandpa and go visit him once in awhile. I'll be away for 10 days and if anything happen to grandpa, you will take charge as all his documents are at home which i will hand to you. Every now and then i will call home. Please take care of the family."

The words waters my sensitive heart but this time around i could hold those tears that are ready to burst. It was a different story in the airport though. As they announce that its time for my dad to be ushered in, i shook my dad hands and utter these 5 words:

"You gotta take care dad....",

my tears starting to accumulate at my eyelid.

"You take care of your mum and take care of my dad.....",

he replied as my tears flow down my cheeks. So did his. We embrace as i hugged him hard. As he entered the gate he looked calm. Do not worry dad.. I will do whatever i can to live up to the daunting task you have left me. I will not disappoint you dad. I wish you good health and hope you enjoy the whole thing. A big shoe for me to fill up but my giant feet will slip just nice. Don't worry...

My dad & me

My parents

20:15 JEDDAH SV825

Borussia Saint Germain

2006-09-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

Mood: Bored
Song: No Promises by Shayne Ward

Deep in my sleep yesterday, i dreamed about playing soccer with my secondary schoolmates that i missed so much. It was smiles and fun of course. You do not even sweat when playing in the dream. Enough crapping. But seriously i miss the times where everytime school ends we would go to the school basketball court and play. Back then we had a team that was popular across the school because of our talent. Every team want to beat us. We were called Hurricanes. Dont Laugh, i tell you....

I still remember, i had to sign on a A4 paper on the deal signing to play for the team because i used to be belong to the school military band. I must say, i used to be a hot property last time. The conflicts in the millitary band influenced me on the swapped. Right after the signing i got gazely stares from my former teammates. Ironically, the first game was against the military band. Well if u guess it well, i scored against them. We beat them 3-1. The goal that i scored is still fresh in my mind. A floater that seeps through seas of players and sunk into goal. After we gain so much popularity, we change our sissy name. From Hurricanes to Borussia Saint Germain. Then we had to change again because we thought Borussia Saint Germain was too long. So, we are known as BSG. As name change, people who took charge change and jerseys oso change.

The number i always wanted

Here are some of the players that i played with in BSG:

Quek Boon Kiang - A very safe goalkeeper with good shot-stopping attributes. Got to have him when we are facing a penalty.
Cher Jinzhi - A very fast and rightwing back whom likes to adventure the opposition defence.
Low Kim San, Andy - A versatile player who is multi talented and can be call upon anytime. Usually plays centreback. Represented school.
Chua Hock Kuan, Timothy - A very hardworking leftback whom captains the team with his robust attitude. Packs a powerful shot and often a deadball specialist. He is the tallest in the team and he is very dangerous in aerial balls.
Muhammad Shahrin Ramlee - Player with the longest name who is often lazy in the field. Always play last man or sometimes play goalkeeper. Second top scorer. Vice captain of the team. Represented school.
Tan Chih Liang - Right midfielder with full of tricks and equipped with precission passing. A simple direct player.
Tay Chin Huat - Left midfilder who is very good in close control of the ball. One of the exciting left legger players in the team. Represented school.
Ng Huizhi - Very tall strong and fast midfielder who can play any area of midfiled. A goalscorer midfielder who can be blistering in dribbling. Represented school.
Wee Ruizhi, Baboo - A maestro and ball winner in the middle of the park. His dribbling skills makes oppositions' jaws dropped. A very good influence of the team. Goal scorer in midfiled with his powerpacked shots.
Quek Yong Kang, Elgin - A very oppotunist striker whom get his work done everytime. Top scorer of the team. Often seen the likes of fowler in him with a good finishing ability.
Siow Chee Seng - He is a good distributor of the ball and often seen assisting. A gifted player who reads the game very well. Gets the ball every now and then.
Loy Liangjie - A very useful substitute who is very versatile in midfiled and defence. A very simple and direct player who doesnt use fancy stuffs.

These are the core players and sometimes we do invite some of our friends to be part of the team. It's been a while since we gather and play soccer. About 5 years oredi. Thats damn long. Wah... How you know their full names and all? You may ask... I am very close with them in my secodary school years. The brotherhood that we built was beyond words. Notice that I am the only malay guy in the team. I told you, i mixed around with them alot. And by chance you see the names of these bunch of guys, call me orite. I miss the soccer times.

Attracted to chinese girls

2006-08-31T23:22:00.000+08:00

Feeling bored bumming at home the whole day. Actually waiting for friends to ask me out but nobody called. I guess they are busy with their own things. Watch television and take frequent naps were the time table for the day. During lazing around, i comes up with a revelation.

I found that i am attracted to chinese girls more than malay girls. I dont know why. Maybe because i am more interactive with chinese community than my own race. Since in my secondary school days, I mixed around with my chinese friends more than my malay friends and most of my close friends are chinese. Not that i dont have malay friends or wat but I am not that close with them. Its kinda "hi-bye" friends. Feeling more comfortable with my chinese friends. Learning chinese culture and knowing them bit by bit. Learning their language and all and i know at least 75% of chinese language but only listening. I am not saying malay girls are not attractive or wat, but i have soft spot for chinese girls. Adding to that, i found that most malay girls nowadays are on the brink of craziness. Not all though. At least by my experience, visually or hearing. I am very dissapointed to see those havoc malay girls who freely parading themselves and make a fool of themselves. They know its wrong, or maybe illegal, to drink but they still does that. That leads to being drunk and being taken advantage of. It is juz not rite. But every bad theres good. And i am saddened that the good malay girls are the minority. I am no angel i know but its not rite. Maybe thats one of the reason i find chinese girls very attractive. Before anybody jumps to any conclusion about me, i must say that this is my feeling and it is not directed to anybody. I think i must project my feelings on these, that i have been hiding so long. I know its very weird but its true. But lets just see how, as time reveals. To those who think my thoughts are crappy, i would love to hear your opinions. It certainly will help. For those who feel offended, i apologize. Sorry.

The other day during camp, Amir approached me and find me very uneasy and and felt something is wrong with me. And he is not the only one noticing that, Fred and Shahrul oso notice. Amir asked me why. Yes, honestly i feel very uneasy and stoning sometimes. But i do not know why. Theres some thoughts lingering in my head. Alot actually. I thought i could hide my despair during camp but Amir found it very noticeable. I just can't blurt it out coz sumtimes i myself dunno wat i am thinking about. But sometimes i juz wanna hide it. I am sorry if i am not myself lately and i am sorry if u find my uneasiness disturbing. Out..

Long Post: Leadership

2006-08-30T23:21:00.000+08:00

Mood: Battered and Useless
Song: You by Amy Lee

Have juz finished a 3hr nap. Had to have that nap. After an enthrilling and unforgettable walk. Journey: McRitchie to Bukit Timah and distance covered was more than 14km i think. I do not know the exact distance but it was a very long walk. The walk was basically through a jungle. Went to the tree top walk at Bukit Timah, it was the highlight of the walk. Enchanting view of nature at its best. If the walk was correctly followed, we suppose to cover about 12km like that. Yah... my group got split up and lost our way. We eventually end up at Al-Ameen Bukit Timah where the bus need to rescue us out of our misery. My legs were screaming for help, i just can hear it scream.It still is. Amazingly at any point of the walk i feel quite good walking because if not for this chance presented to me, i wouldnt have achieve this kind of feat. Well, to say the least i actually enjoy the walk but it will be more enjoyable if the right path was used.

The nature walk was one of the itenary of the sports camp i attended. Felt a huge relief that the camp is over. The way i handle the camp was poor. I was put to charge since my capt and my vice capt appoint me to lead the team because of their absence. Well, i think they make a huge mistake by doing so. I was very ignorant and weak in my duty as in-charge. I was quite dissapointed with the team charachter and performance towards this camp, but i do not blame them as we were kinda forced to go this camp. Sometimes i wonder how i tolerate such behaviour. But i was more dissapointed on myself. The leadership skill were often seen scarcely performed. As my nature of "being too nice to people", my instructions were always ignored. Maybe i am too easy to take advantage. Seriously i cant seem to tell off people, i find that very hard to do. Furthermore its not nice to be angry at people, i find theres a better way to deal such things. And you wouldnt want me to be angry in front of you all, its ugly i tell you. Very ugly. I seriously think respect is achieve through respect. And if somebody is stubborn enough to not follow instructions, i think they will feel that small portion of guilty conscious. Well i am just being democratic here because i do not attain such qualities such as firm and stern to lead a team. How i wish i am autocratic as a leader but by the nature that i am i wont be. I learn a lot from this camp that its not easy to be charge of a team. I have failed and i feel sorry for the team for getting bad remarks from my charge.

Apart from that i have widened my social circle which i felt was the best thing in this camp. Would I have this camp done differently if i have the chance again? Maybe.. But to be around with friends in the camp, nothing beats that... Rest well people...

Lu Lian

2006-08-27T20:44:00.000+08:00

Mood: Tired & Happy
Song: Losing my religion by REM

No more exams for me in my poly life. Will be enjoying that stage for the next 4 months or so. Had kinda celebration after my last paper last friday. Had Seoul Garden with my classmates inclusive of Jasmine and Pris. After dinner we went seperate ways. Me and Jas went to meet up Nerd, Yang, Madz and Rul. We walked from Fullerton to Lau Pa Sat. They had satay there but i didnt touch them at all coz i am freaking full. Diana and Meijie join us at Lau Pa Sat. Both of them were all dress up and very nicely dressed. They intend to go clubbing. After Lau Pa Sat, Diana and Meijie went Boat Quay and the rest of us went to Esplanade to chill. Below are some pics that we took.

Expected Failure

2006-08-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

Mood: Static & Lost
Song: Dance with my father by Luther Vandross

An Exam consists of section A, B and C. Each section is worth 20, 50 and 30 marks respectively. Let Y be the event that a student fail in the test where passing marks is 50%. Let X be the event that the student fail miserably where he score less than 20%. In both events the case is independent.

a) Find the weightage where a student did half of section B, do anyhow in section A and do only one question out of 2 in section C?
b) State the probability the student fail in the above event.
c) If the student fail miserably, find the probability that he fail in section B, P(B/X)?

That is the sample of a dumbass module that i took and i am gonna fail miserably. I sense that. A huge sign of discomfort was in the air when the lecturer announced we have 15 mins to the exam. I can feel the tense in the room. As soon the lecturer announced that, my MCQ were totally blank. 10 MCQs questions. How do i not panic? And when the time lecturer signal the end of paper, everyone in the room feels as though we've been slapped by the lecturer. Total stunned. With mouth open staring what the outcome might have been. A total diasappointment. I am mentally drained by the last paper. Statistics make me cry. Probability of failing? Definite!!! Lets just wait. I seriously dont feel good. Really.

Exams Update:
I need a mountain of a luck in the last paper to make it thru. Tml is tuesday, so it means the end of so called exam. Altho theres paper on friday, it is the least important. After paper tml. its soccer time. But now Fluid Mechanics. Ok Go!!!

3rd Watch

2006-08-19T21:56:00.000+08:00

Mood: Still sick & Silent
Song: Wish you were here by Pink Floyd

Finished my second paper last friday. Before exams are nearing Thermodynamics is a total stranger, but last few days Thermo is very close to me. Now i want Statistics to be as close. The paper was equally horrendous. At times during the paper, i froze and stare at blank air. I will be very happy if i get at least a C+. My flu worsens. Cough become a undesired hobby. And cough syrup is the undesired meal served. Not that i dont like cough syrup, but its quite irritating when u have a sore throat. By this tues i am hoping to be really relieve... Come tues all hel will break loose.... Tuesday, feed me!!!

Exams Update:
So far no good. A very gloomy start but atleast its progressing and it is coming to an end.

Sore Paper

2006-08-17T01:07:00.000+08:00

Mood: Sick & Speechless
Song: Ridin' Dirty by Chamillionaire feat Krayzie Bone

I messed up my first paper that i would'nt want to discuss on it. Theres another paper dis friday and i am falling sick oredi. Sick becoz of insufficient time of sleep and inconsisitent timing of meals. I have oredi gulped down 2 tablet of panadol and i think it is not enuff. Gonna gulp another 2 more soon. Since exam has oredi started, i cant for it to end. Out....

Exams Update:
If i keep screwing up my paper, you will be sure to hear from me alot more everyday, screwing myself up. Bring Thermodynamics to me now!!!! Lets go!!!

2006-08-15T00:06:00.000+08:00

Mood: Nervous & Excited
Song: The Beautiful Ones by Suede

Initially it was a tryout. Now it becomes my passion and life. Yes, i am talking about rugby. At first i thought i wanna make it juz a sport i wanna learn to play but the tenacity and tense that the game offer is juz breath taking. An offer that i couldnt resist. Now i want to take rugby seriously and hoping to spread the beautiful game to my family and friends. Grooming my little cousins to pick up the sport and all. One day i hope to represent a divison 2 team. And thats my goal. Or should i say TRY. I leave you with some pictures, ateam i learn to love. For those who is not familiar, they are from Italy and they are called Overmach Parma. Engage!!!

Examinations Update:

Mechanics 3 will be over in 48hrs time and i have only cover 2 chapters, Stress and Strain Circle and MR Polygon. Tommorrow will be another 2 chapters. Lets Do It!!!!

Cocktail Party

2006-08-11T19:27:00.000+08:00

Somethings will be new... Check out the mood meter and the song choice. Mood meter refers the current mood i am having and the song choice is the song i want to intro to you all that i feel it contains special listening power.... And check out my Exams update below.... Kewl?...Enjoy....

Mood: Jumpy and Joyous new!!!

Song : Move Along by All American Rejects new!!!

It was a jolly fun party i must say. It was worth the wait. Had to dress up all formal for the party. I was all excited and jumpy before the party coz its been a while since the CIE peeps gather and mingle around. At first i met Diana juz before the party and accompanied her to print her name card and all. I must say she look stunning in all black. Phweet!! Then we procede to the party. I instantly smile with glee with some peeps. I think i have no problems interacting with them, using my 3 years experience of talking to strangers whom are also tourists. It is well supported with a talkative mouth i have. Well i can be very quiet with strangers but when you know me well, it will be an enjoying experience talking to me. Inclusive of lame and crappy stuff that is. Well the party went smoothly and quite surprise my lecturer approached me and complimented me on my social skills. She revealed that my peers told her that i am a good socialist. I am very grateful to that. CIE peeps rocks!!! There are some pics below, enjoy!!!

Examinations update new!! :
Yesterday did some studying. Yah miracle rite?!!? I studied with Pris, Ass, Nerd, Jasmine and Winnie. Covered 2 chapters of ThermoDynamics and for the first time this sem i felt so satisfied. Good Start Shahrin!!! Keep it up!!! And the part that i have to maintain is the hardest... hahaha

Party looks cool hor...

Mingle Around SessionSome of the CLS girls

A happy family of CIE How lucky can i be? Diana-Me-CherylDiana&Cheryl
Cheryl-Me-Yongqi-My lecturer

Ichibawa w/o KC

Nation's Red

2006-08-09T14:23:00.000+08:00

Well.. today is of course a special day. No, not because its national day. Its because i have to study for my GEMS test tml. DIY PC, the most suckiest GEMS i ever took. For those who are in SP, never choose the above GEMS. Don't say i never warn you all. I feel its too early to study now, so i rather relax first. But wait, later theres parade to watch. Ah... nvm... after parade can study.. hehe.. I am so lazy now... Argh.!! Fcuklah... i go do my GEMS quiz first then see how.. If i got bored again... i think you all will be reading another post from me later... And as a warning i do get bored easily.. hahaha.... Ah shuddup Shahrin!!!!

Life can be easier than these but i chose otherwise.......

Borrrred

2006-08-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

Coz I am bored....

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

How am I feeling today?
SOS(rescue me) by Rihanna

How do my friends see me?
Words by Bee Gees (Am i that talkative?....)

Where will I get married?
Thank you for the venom by My chemical romance (Wah sounds creepy...)

What is my best friend's theme song?
Redefine by Incubus (Fine would be better... w/o the rede)

What is the story of my life?
Life is wonderful by Jason Mraz (hmmm...)

What was secondary school like?
Its going down by The X-Ecutioners

How can I get ahead in life?
Roll the dice by Course of nature (LOL... hahaha)

What is the best thing about me?
Lip Gloss and Black by Atreyu (Lip Gloss?.... Hahahaha)

What is today going to be like?
Oriental Love by Masterboy

What is in store for this weekend?
Unconditional by The Bravery ( nothing beats a weekend w/o conditions)

What song describes my parent(s)?
Cigarette Smoke by Arctic Monkeys (how ironic... )

To describe my grandparents?
A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Pressley

How is my life going?
Holla back girl by Gwen Stefani ( does it mean its havoc....)

How does the world see me?
Signs by Snoop Dogg featuring Justin Timberlake

Will I have a happy life?
Two steps behind by Def Leppard (how sad..)

What do my friends really think of me?
Open your eyes by Alterbridge

Do people secretly lust after me?
Holiday by Greenday

How can I make myself happy?
My immortal by Evanescence

Will i ever have children?
Wherever you will go by The Calling ( That means plenty sia... i will be everywhere.. hehehe)

All these were done through boredom. But some of the answers are hilarious. Some are just appropriate. Hehehe...
I was right, that my mum has planned something for me for the weekend, that is today. She planned me to do housework. How interesting!! I wash my bed sheets and pillow covers. Air the pillow outside. Vaccumed the whole house and tidied up my room. Well, thats about it. Doing my sample flyer later. It will be good i promise you all.

France's Italy

2006-08-05T23:50:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you about what i did yesterday....
I had a test early in the morning. A test that i didn't even prepare. It turn out better than expected. Got hope!! After test, my class officially ended. It ended around 10am. I had to wait for Zie to end her class because me having dinner with her after her class. Slacked in school with the normal people. After much slacking it was 5pm where Zie ended her class. Then we head to Boon Lay's Swenson. Let's recap. I lost a bet to her that's why the dinner happen. Yeah i took France in the World Cup Finals. She took Italy.

Well we had a scrumptious meal. She had Caesar's Fish Salad. I had Creamy Salmon and Mushroom Spaghetti. Then we shared Banana Crumbled Ice Cream. The whole dinner thing was proper and i really had fun. We chatted and shared our views. Laughter after laughter. A simple dinner. We went Jurong East after that, accompanied her to buy mascara. Then we parted home. That is the first time i had dinner with a girl. As in a proper two person dinner. Felt a bit awkward at times but i pull it through at the end. Its not that easy especially with the feelings involve. But afterall i am willing to accept she's my little sister. Well... again i fell short. Cool with it though. Spilled milk are not worth the cry.

Good things do end

2006-08-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

I dream about you a fortnite ago. In that dream you made me jealous but deep down i still love you. It looks as though i want my dream to include you everytime i sleep. If that is the case, i want to live in a dream. Sadly good things do end. As difficult as it may seem to forget you, you kept returning to my thoughts. Emo songs seems so wrong right now. Well i made my decision, and let's just see whether my decision is the right. Btw i saw you just now on my way to gems and the feelings never felt so awkward before. Its you... Yeah you... My heart still cries for you... Damn!!!

Positive

2006-08-01T23:06:00.000+08:00

Yesh!! I have removed my stitches. Want to say its irritating but it looks fierce. Went to Clementi Polyclinic after my 2 hour lesson in school yesterday. Oh yah... You know who accompanied me? Of course my best friend, Pris. Thanks for your company. Really appreciate it. After that we zoomed to Lido McCafe to slack. Jessica joined us shortly. After about an hour of slacking, i accompanied them to do manicure. Its quite an interesting thing actually. Ironically, 3 person ask whether Pris is my girlfriend. Hehehe... Remember last month i guess, theres an incident involving me and her oso where a china women ask whether we are married. I cant stop giggling. Well, i am very happy to announce that my best friend is attached. She is on cloud nine now and i am very happy for that. Stay happy Pris. Well, for me... dun worry... i think i'll find one soon. Hehehe.... These are some pics...

Bored wating for my turn in Polyclinic

Stitches Removed

Enjoying a brownie at Lido McCafe

Jessica & Priscilla

Pris enjoying her chunky chicken sandwhich
No... I never paint my nails... dun worry...
Waiting for manicure

Move Along

2006-07-26T23:05:00.000+08:00

Well this will be the part where the ending reel rolls down and the director's name is being mentioned again. And yet things move on. I must say i must move on and not pursue what i have always wanted. Its not being negative but plain realistic. Even not a tinge of feeling, not even a drop can be drained out. Instead a lot that have been mentioned does not lead to me. Its very sad and hurtful for me but shall i wait and feel the same negative feeling? No, i think this is the time i move on. Some things must be set and altho my heart feels heavy to let it all go, i think this is the best option. I shant wait no more. And i shant find no more. I shall move on and wait till my life decides again. My life have decided on you initially but looking at current situation, life have chosen a random one. I stretch to you, my life. Please lead me on. Love is a dirrty word and it just sneaked unto me and killed me. Dead...

Viewers Discretion Advised

2006-07-24T18:44:00.000+08:00

I juz return home safely from my trip. But theres some things that i brought back home with me. 9 stitches on my head. A very long and deep one. Its all from a tackle i made in the match. Its a bloody affair i tell you. I was fetched by the ambulance after my clash. Amir was there to accompany me in the ambulance. On our way to ambulance a lot of things run thru my mind. Will i be ok? Will the stitches be very painful? Traces of my family, friends and her, suddenly appear in my mind. I even voice out to Amir that I m scared and as always he comforted me with his 'dun worry'. Upon reaching the clinic, i felt nervous but the feeling of scared subsides. It was a painful ordeal though. Thanks to all my rugger frens who help me during my ordeal.

Nerd, if u read this... i am doing quite fine on cutting down the number of cigarettes i smoke. Soon it will be no more.. i promise u bro... Its not that i dun want to share my problems with you all, but i don't want to make you more worried. Its okay bro, i am very happy that you comment me on my smoking and i am very honoured by your concerned. Thank You Bro....

And lastly this section is for her. I know you are in a lot of problems rite now. PLS PLS Stop smoking.... its endangering your health... remember the sickness you encounter for weeks... Its not worth it... People still loves you... Your family ... Friends... You take care.... Confession would not make things any better.... I shall wait...

Bon Voyage

2006-07-20T23:26:00.000+08:00

Tommorow i shall embark to a journey nearby with my fellow teammates. Johor that is. We will be staying there 3 days 2 nites. Why you may ask. All because of a friendly rugby match against UTM (Technological University of Malaysia). In the last meeting, we fair quite poorly but this time around we hope to salvage something from it. Guys i'll be away on school duty so i am gonna miss you guys. I will mis my MSN. Missing my friends and of course that someone coz theres no MSN to interact and an overseas call might be costly. But i will be back on Sunday night. Till then, Adios...

Free Time

2006-07-16T15:49:00.000+08:00

About Myself

My Name: Muhammad Shahrin aka sha_phat or rain
Hobbies: Rugby, writing poems and chill out with friends
Schools: MJ, MSS, ITE TP and SP
Work: Singapore Cable Car station assistant
Horoscope: Aquarius
Hair Colour: Brownish brown
Skin Colour: Dark brown
Status: Single
Last 5 digits of my mobile: 84259
Your birthday: 7 Feb

Have You...

Tried smoking: Yes
Drink Alcohol: A Big NOOOOO..... NEVER!!!!
Been hurt emotionally: Yes, sometimes..
Kept a secret from anyone: Yup..
Been on stage: Yes... those were the priamary school days...

Favourites

Colour: Red, Green and Black
Food: Nasi sambal goreng & Kway tiao goreng
Number: 17
Cartoon: Hmm transformers maybe....
Song: A lot... i have a huge collection
Movie: School of Rock & Big hit

Right now

Wearing: Parma jersey and Canter shorts
Hairstyle: Mohawk with a tail
Looking at: MSN in my com
Thinking of: That somebody who is sick...
Listening to: Jason Mraz's Life is wonderful

Do you believe in

Love: Maybe...
Faith: Very much so...
Yourself: Hmm.. i will hesitate to answer but sometimes...
Angels : Yess...
Ghosts: I think so...

In the last 24 hours

Wore jeans: Yes... to bay beats
Clean ur room: Nope... its still not messy yet
Cried: No... if so oso it will be happy tears bcoz got to hang wif the lamers... woohoo...
Met someone new: My friend's friend
Last person i talked to on the phone: Ahmad, asking what bus number goes to Woodlands

Love life

Have a secret admirer: Not that i know of
Do you wanna get married: Of course!
How old you wanna be when u wanna have kids: 28-30
How many kids do you want: 2 or 3
Do you have a crush: A paiseh yes...
What do you want most in relationship: Understanding and love

In Random

Favorite local footballer: The legend, Fandi Ahmad
3 ppl you run to when u have problems: Ass, Nerd & Matreps
3 things you do when you are stressed: Smoke, Go out & Draw
3 prominet qualities of myself: Humorous, Lame & Friendly
What would you do if you have a million dollars: Start a family and business
Are you jealous or insecure freak: Jealous but i m insecure sometimes but definately not a freak
Favourite secondary school teacher: Mrs Nancy Ong
People you like to se doing this: Adeline, Priscilla, Bernard, Zie, Shaiful and whoever who blog..

L-O-V-E

2006-07-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

Well, what is there in store for me about love? Basically nothing though. A man with no credentials about it pondering about it. Its like fishing in the swimming pool, you get nothing but a gazely stare from onlookers. It all goes down to love. But its kinda hard that i like that somebody and i don't get the return. Its like clapping with one hand. But on the other hand, i did mirror myself. What have i to offer? Without looks, without appeal, without brains, without stable income. So what can i offer? Well, in my view, i can offer humour and heart but most of the time my views does not give a damn. It's what people think is important. Well here i nags about love but i think i am not the only one. I just have to let it all out on how frustrating it can be when someone you like does not hav the same feeling. Maybe i am being selfish here.

"My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me." -Hands Down by Dashboard Confessionals

I M SORRY

2006-07-11T07:06:00.000+08:00

Public Apology
---------------

Juz before i leave for skool dis morning, i feel with the greatest unease for what i have done to someone. I juz cant stop thinking abt it. I suppose to return the call but instead i fall in my theatre of dreams. As soon as i woke up it was not the 5mins that was agreed upon to. Infact it was way beyond that. I hate myself now for doing that. I feel really really bad. I am sorry. Really really sorry. Very very sorry ok.... But i think sorry isnt gd enuff. I will make up for it. I promise i will accompany you and talk with u tonite again. This time i won't be dozing off. I promise. You take care of urself.

F***

2006-07-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

Okay this is it!!! I shall confess... I have been smoking quite profusely lately. Mainly because of the depression i encounter. The pressure the personal encounter, all those pester me. My attitude change a lot. I am not what i use to be. Where is the friendly Mr. Nice guy Shahrin. Where? Where is my interest in studies anymore. All lost. I am trying to find myself. Still finding. Sometimes i find that i dun belong where i belong now.

Woosh!!

2006-07-02T15:02:00.000+08:00

A defeat sure takes toll on me. The feeling of yesterday's defeat still lingers. The loss have left us second in the group and set a match with the Combined School. A lot of things must be revised and rectified. All those silly mistakes made must be looked upon intensively. Our discipline just falls apart. But the loss did spur on to set a clash with Safsa again in the finals. Semis will be a crucial one. Very crucial. We must be one. Very discipline to go against the odds. The odds came piling but it can be overcome. Come on SP!!!! whoosh!!! Btw we receive our new jersey y'day. Below are some pics of the jersey and some parading them during warm-up.

Now back to my life. After a hectic week of catching up of studies i discovered that i am well behind time in terms of understanding of my modules. That really infuriates and irritates me. I'll be back soon. Very very soon. The fire of studying just dissapeared, blown by the wind of stubborn led by myself. I need something to ignite that fire again. A spark will do the trick. Still finding...

Lay Zie

2006-06-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

Feeling quite lazy and busy to update my blog. A lot of things happen. But mainly its rugby. My first managerial stint. Well, i kinda said that about ten times at least. Feeling sick now so i won't post much. Some Sentosa pics and a video you should watch.

Video (go here) :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iemV4LRsg4Y

Holiday Not

2006-06-13T11:41:00.000+08:00

Tuesday afternoon. Start of so called holiday. Lets not call it a holiday. We call it weekend. That sounds much better. So, i have 2 weeks of weekend ahead of me. 1 day have left me, yesterday, and today is yet to fold. Worked on sunday. It was okay but after about 2 weeks break from work i kinda miss work. I miss interacting with customers and colleagues. Looking at the world cup is weel on the way, at least theres a topic I can ignite with my customers.

Tommorrow I am heading to the beach. BEACH!!!! WOOHOO!!! Going with my fellow SP ruggers after our training in school. You may think that we are crazy.... But who cares... We are going there anyway. Bond between my fellow ruggers is very concrete now. I feel happy with their presence. Old too. Hahaha... But as a big brother, they always look up to me. Enough about this big brotherly thingy. Before I leave this post, here are some of my predictions in World Cup 2006....

Germany and Argentina will meet in the Finals
Mexico will go to the Quarterfinals
Miroslav Klose will end up being the tournament top scorer
Germany will be named the champions
England and Spain will falter in the 2nd round

I had free Teh Susu from my supervisor during work

This coupon entitles you to take cable car for juz $2 (CRAZEE!!!!!)

060606

2006-06-10T01:56:00.000+08:00

Have been out chilling with wonderful friends lately. Most of the time were spent at McCafe Lido. But the most significant time was spent wif my besties, Pris. Yah... Pris.... Its been ages since her name is mentioned in this blog because we seldom interact for the past few months. But lately we were back interacting with each other again. That feeling is just unbelievable.

That particular day was tuesday, 060606, yah i know even the date was significant. Both of us chilled at McCafe. Then we windowed shopping around ochard. She bought two items ; a shawl and a pair of slippers. During our journey, we were approached by a china women who happen to be a surveyor. This is our ordeal:

Surveyor : Hello.... Are you 2 Singaporeans or foreigner?
Us : We are Singaporeans (proudly)
Surveyor : Oh ok... Are both of you married?
Us :???? Huh?? (we look at each other, giggled and walked away)

That incident won't be forgotten for sure. Well, simply, i had fun going out with her. It fills with a lot of laughter and fun. You made my day that day and u made me forget my depression. Thanks best friend. Till we go out together again. Here are some pics that she self-obssesedly took with my phone.

Wordlife

2006-06-06T13:54:00.000+08:00

Depression

I felt something just held up my progress and slowed me down. Wastage of time accumulate as i find what leads to this held. A held that even someone do not have the power in. To withstand or to mastermind. Stress slowly creeps in and thinking will surely run wild. Stress leads to unimaginary action. Action that myself could not accept. I feel the darkness again but will i remain mannequinly as the dark take over me. Light, juz a ray will do, will surely be there but how long will it last. Even bulbs need replacement. Whatever it is that i am having i could not held with my hands and take control. Its beyond that. Lack of self-belief as i go downstream through my self reflection. I hate being like this. But i was told this is life. If life continue like this, i rather life be like this forever. Strength runs deep but will it sustain sufficiently with effect of life. Well, i let you decide that. For me right now, life is pack but too pack to appreciate. Never will i have the enough amount of tranquility to be appreciative for what life has done for me. Let me hesitate and all that i have, scattered to wilderness. Will i retrieve it? A big damn NO. So i better stop thinking and shut those f***ing mind off before i fall deeper. Life is just life. Life is the most used excuse that even people cant notice.

Depression

A Death Denial

2006-06-02T00:04:00.000+08:00

.Useless.FeelingDown.Unwell.Dying.NoNeedAid.ItsOkay.

Fatherly love

2006-05-28T22:31:00.000+08:00

Today will be a special day. You might ask why? Let me bring you to my journey today. It all started yesterday night where i went out with the CIE peeps to celebrate Cheryl's birthday. Then we headed for pool at Meridien Hotel. Heade home at about 2am. Was online till 4am and headed to sleep.

Woke up at 1pm today and getting ready for the rugby match we having at Raffles Institution(RI). It will be against Old Raffles Association(ORA). As i was getting ready, suddenly my dad voice out that he wants to watch the match. I drove to RI for the match.

Fast facts : My dad spend his secondary days studying in RI, that is why he was so eager to watch his son play against his former school.

The match started slow for us. Everything we did was wrong and not as a team. But we picked the game well in the second half. Eventually we prove a tough opposition for them. We beat them comfortably 50-5.

After the match, me and my dad headed home and have dinner at a nearby coffeshop. All these were done juz with company of my dad. Basically its like father's day sia..... Thanks DAD

more pics

2006-05-25T09:23:00.000+08:00

More pics

Esplanade

Ghostly Old Changi Hospital Visit

Pics Galore

2006-05-24T21:57:00.000+08:00

Feelings : F***ed up but yet content....
Gratitude : To all my friends which make my life a happier one (esp to my best friend, thnx for the chat... i need that to kill my boredom.)
Words : Nothing... Juz pictures....

School's Boredom

Sakae Sushi and Esplanade

Sheesh Kebab

2006-05-01T22:03:00.000+08:00

Bumming around at home alone today because i am dead tired. Tired of what you might ask...? I am very tired after a long and fun day in the beach yesterday. Went Sentosa yesterday with my friends. It was an awesome break to say the least. Break from a hectic schedule that i have.

Friday night was spent with my classmates. We went jamming which i thought was waste of time because the drummer did not turn up. After jamming we decide to go for sheesha. As most of my friends are virgin and i am quite regular to sheesha i sort of introduce them to it. It prove to be quite cool cause we get to know each other even deeper. Some of them are my new classmates. Good session. Till the next session guys.

Ordinary People

2006-04-23T11:55:00.000+08:00

First day of school have just left me. A week of fun and a lot of late home coming. Well, to tell you the truth, I am those guys that dont like to stay at home unless there's a purpose. Rather than that I cant see any purpose staying at home. Have been staying from home lately. Hours and hours outside are spent with my wonderful friends.

Started training last thursday and it was a fruitful one i must say. Its been awhile since i play contact rugby. Although its hardcore action but I like the adrenalin rush. No!!! I am not a violent beast. Remember, only gentlemen play rugby. I left the first training with two injuries. Swollen left cheek due to collision with Amir's head. The other is swollen left knuckle due to somebody stepping it. Imagine boots equipped with studs go full force on ur hand. WoW!!! Tommorrow will be the second training. It will be fun.

Spent last two days with the CIE guys and gals. People like Aaron, Henry, Dom, Yongqi, Yq, Kyle, Cheryl and Diana. Friday nite were spent celebrating Kyle's birthday at Swensen's (Plaza Singapura) and ended up in the arcade after that. Yesterday we decide to go out again. We went Forum to slack and played pool at Pot Black. After that we headed to esplanade to slack and enjoy the scenery. Happen to be, theres a band playing there. They were awesome....

Somebody's birthday coming..... but who ah.... hehehe.....

Ghetto ruggers spotted at Forum Coffee Bean

Slacking at Esplanade

Thats Diana, she says the pic is like cut and paste

Its been awhile...

2006-04-16T13:29:00.000+08:00

First of all i would like to apologise to my cuzzins and frens who followed my blog because it is not updated. It is mainly becoz, my attachment(ITP) took up a lot of my time. And to Kak Lena, you wont be seeing the last post oredi the "i miss her" post. Hehehe... Coz i am updating now.

Rite now, my life flows as smooth as the waterfall and i wouldnt want any tree branch to fall on the stream to act as a disturbance to the flow. Feelings will not fall short and will always be carved in my heart. Even if the feelings was exposed.

Skool reopens tommorrow and i am feeling quite estatic and nervous on meeting frens again. It will be a good start and it feels like a new beginning altho i am on my third year of studies. That means i am graduating next year March. Fast hor? I am still reviewing wat to do after my diploma. I have 2 options and still clueless wat to choose. Maybe all of you can help me on my decision. Can? First option : Continue my studies in NTU doing a 3 year full time degree in Mechanical Engineering. Second option : Find job first then do 5 year part time degree to gain experience of working life. Btw i have asked my parents for opinions and guess wat.... My dad pick the 2nd option and my mum picks the 1st option. Well Done!!! Hehehe....

A lot of function happen while i am away. ITP, games tour, rugby sevens, etc... And y'day went to Cosat Sands resort at Pasir ris for a birthday function. It's my cuzzins birthday. Happy Birthday, Kak Hernie!!!!!! And one of the reason why i update my blog is y'day me and my cuzzins were talking about the blogs and i think its time to update....

KL Games Tour (Singapore Plytechnic Rugby)

Singapore Rugby Sevens at National Stadium

I miss you

2006-03-19T00:09:00.000+08:00

MISS HER....

Amiss

2006-03-05T16:44:00.000+08:00

Woohoo!!!

A long post. A day well spent yesterday. Went Sentosa for a dip with close wonderful friends. Among those who tag along are Nerd, Ahmad, Ade, Zhi wei and Ass. We were joined by Ahmad & Nerd's zoo colleagues. It is a day of freedom as we caress the waters of Pahlawan beach. The weather was okay. I simply had fun. Its been awhile. The feeling is beyond description. It is much more meaninful as Monday shall be the day i embark a new journey in Attachment (ITP). Place : Jurong Town. A precinct i used to live in 17 years ago. Yes, its far but if it is for my own good, i have nothing to complain about. Juz bring it!! I am sure it will be fun.

Last but not least, after a day spent in Sentosa, me, Nerd and Aaron head to Changi Aiport to send Zie, Audrey, Nat & Cheryl off. They are heading to Melbourne, Australia for attachment. I wish them all the best for their ITP and hope they have fun. The main reason i am there is beacause of somebody and its Zie. I don't know whether she will be viewing and reading this but i just want to tell her that i am missing her already. I hope she likes the gift. As time goes by, my interest towards her thickens. Cant stop thinking of her. All my prayers directed to her. I hope to spend more time knowing her. I may not be the best but i hope my efforts are accounted. I believe she's the one. I am missing you. 6 weeks accounting. =)

After sending them off, me and Nerd met up with Ade and Zhi wei to have dinner. We had Fish & Co. at T2 Changi airport. Yummy!!! We are served by cute, friendly and good-service waitress named Cherillyn.

Not sand-castle but sand-"Zhiwei"

Beach Soccer

Strong? Nah... He is super light

Thats Adeline... Free Cable Car Return...

Seafood Platter.... WOW!!!

I had Blackpepper Stingray... Yummy...

Almost Done

The girl whom always made me smile... Miss You....

Anger Mode

2006-03-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

The red in this post shud tells you how i am feeling rite now. Plain Angry, thats what i am feeling rite now.

Broken promises...
Words not given any worth...
Respect my arrangement...
Possible missed opportunity...

Luckily Oasis provides me the 'cool down' background music and the fact i will be enjoying tommorrow with my friends. It will be a good day. Arrrrgh!!!! Juz have to do that..

Rejuvenate

2006-03-02T11:35:00.000+08:00

Finally... Well, the last few weeks have spelt hell for me from the ever so bustling life in Poly. Projects after projects need to meet dateline. Blow after blow of study for exam preparation. Problems after problems internally and externally in my life. I tell you they came piling at me one by one accumulated like a mountain. But now that mountain seems like a little hump.

Exams over
Projects dateline met
Problem relatively solved

Slowly it will be streamed away. Sense of satisfaction and relieve upon finishing my exam. Lets juz hope that the result is as kind as the papers. A lot of happening for last few weeks that i have not blogged. Good times and bad times rolled in together. On top of all that, i had the time of my life yesterday. Accompanied Zie to do some visiting at the cemetery, chat with Pris, whom i miss so much, and that little little things i do that made me smile. I hope yesterday never end but it has just ended and that is why i am here blogging today. (Crap!!!!)

Vee

2006-02-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

Tommorow is 14 of February... Hmmm.... What day is it huh? Oh yah hor its Valentines Day.... Who cares!!?! I don't give a damn....

My Day

2006-02-07T01:09:00.000+08:00

Now i am 24 years young and all the years that have left me are my education of my life. Thru this i would like to be much wiser in my decision and demure in my actions. I hope people around me are healthy and enjoying every bit of their life. 7 February 2006.

Dog Years

2006-01-29T16:57:00.000+08:00

Worked yesterday (saturday) till about 6pm. Suppose to have outing but plans failed due to empty messages or call. Feeling quite rejected, made my way home reluctantly. Felt uneasy as always. Questions start shooting at every direction.

It was still until one saviour call which lighten me. It was from Danial asking me join the rest of the rugby guys at Bugis. Among there are Othman, Danial, Baban & Adi. The plan was to smoke sheesha and chill. I accept instantly to subsides my disappoinment. Quite happy to see the rugby guys again because i have been missing training for quite some time due to work. The sheesha session always will b pleasant as expected. Then we head to Bugis 7-eleven for supper. Had tuna sandwhich.

Then we decided to go Fort Canning for some night adventure and place to chill. It was a scary walk at first but as the walk becomes coverstaion session, we acclimatised with the eerie surrounding. Me and Othman shared alot about our life. Then we realise Fort Canning produce nostalgic and breathe-taking scenery. With stars glazing and reddish skies making the nite a complete scenario. We left Fort Canning at about 6am and head home. Reached home at 7:30am. Slept till about 3pm. And you might guess it right, here i am infront of my com.

Sorry wont heal this pain

Tinge of guilt have you feel?

Unimportance you treat

Now i shall stand unoppose

Ponder

2006-01-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

Life is like a box of chocolates,

You'll finish up the the sweet ones and leave the bitter ones.

Well, i'll be the one craving for the dark and bitter chocolate,

because i choose life to be as complicated as it would be.

Big Question Mark

2006-01-15T18:07:00.000+08:00

Just woke up from my lengthy sleep. Actually woke up early to have breakfast with my parents which i think its been a while since we had one. Went to Hajah Maimunah at Geylang serai for our breakfast. I continued my sleep after my breakfast. Answered my body's screams for some rest. Mainly because of yesterday's RSN 10's tourney. It was pretty bad. Thats all i have to say. I feel very weird and down this weekend. Am still searching the reason why. A lot of contemplation i guess. Leaving this postrevising the purpose of life.

Random Pictures

Journey Begins

2006-01-12T01:48:00.000+08:00

I witness both matches...

Sp Volleyball girls beat ITE 3-0..... Well done gurls!!!

Sp Volleyball guys beat NYP 3-0..... Good job guys!!!

adam & EVE

2006-01-10T10:51:00.000+08:00

The trip (yesterday) after a wet & bustling rugby training to my grandpap's house prove very fruitful. I came there to a crowded reception with my cuzzins and aunties busy cooking & preparing. Below are some pictures of the preparations. Y did i said fruitful? Coz i get to learn how to make 'lepat'....

Few bunch of 'Lepats'

The 'lepat' fillings

This is how to make 'lepat'

My cuz (Kak Nana) = Student.... Intensity

My cuz (Kak Edah) = Student..... Concentration

My cuz (Kak Lia) = Student..... Focus

My cuz (Kak Lena) = Student.... Happy wif the outcome

My Auntie (Bik Nah) = Teacher...... Very grateful that she pass on dis knowledge to us

Dun laugh at me.... I sux at everything but at least i tried...

Heathen Chemistry

2006-01-06T22:35:00.000+08:00

Missing her company oredi. Actualli wanted her opinion about some things but time does not allow us. I am sure the time will come. Take care my best friend. If you free call me alright...

Sleepless nights take a toll out of me and directly affects the progress in school. The progression keeps on stalling as i about to embark and rekindle my mood to study. Soon i will ignite something.

Glances & smiles exchanged but for now i am held back and questions start ringing me up. Often the calls came unanswered. Its not as if nobody's home but more like it is better unanswered. Am still reviewing the purpose and the reason behind my actions. Sometimes it does lead to a weak evidence.Thanks for the support and boost i needed but contemplation still lingers. Mirror at times bring me down but yet it tell lies. I shall wait for it to crack and smash into small particles so it can pierce through my uncontented heart for the last time. The more i bring myself down it seems that the further the sky limit is. Maybe its a bad idea to look up. I rather look forward and take each step with caution. In fate i believe but fate also depend on effort. Effort seems scarce here. At least for me... Think...

Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional

2006-01-01T22:26:00.000+08:00

"Hands Down"

Breathe in for luck,

breathe in so deep,

this air is blessed,

you share with me.

This night is wild,

so calm and dull,

these hearts they race,

from self control.

Your legs are smooth,

as they graze mine,

we're doing fine,

we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,

that your kiss might kill me.

So won't you kill me,

so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst,

to break or bury,

or wear as jewelry,

which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;

just lay entwined here, undiscovered.

Safe in here, from all the stupid questions.

"hey did you get some?"

Man, that is so dumb.

Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...

so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.

So won't you kill me, so I die happy.

My heart is yours to fill or burst,

to break or bury, or wear as jewelry,

which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,

I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,

the dim of the soft lights,

the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers

and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late

and this walk that we shared together.

The streets were wet

and the gate was locked so I jumped it,

and I let you in.

And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist

and you kissed me like you meant it.

And I knew that you meant it,

that you meant it,

and I knew,

that you meant it,

that you meant it.

2005's Gratitude

2005-12-31T12:36:00.000+08:00

I wrote these yesterday as i waited the iron to heat up so i can iron my working uniform...

"Time is 1:20 am. I am sitting in my room staring at blank air while enjoying my tub of ice-cream. Choco-mint flavor. My favorite.

As my stare turns to an empty return , my mind starts its non-sensical thinking. Thinking of the year that has passed me by and tommorow would be the last. What have 2005 offer me? Will 2006 be kind and offer the same quantity as 2005? We shall see. There are alot of highlights in this illustrious year of 2005. Meeting & interacting with new friends will be my main highlight. Especially to get to know that special somebody and how uniquely we started our conversation with. Well right now it seems impossible to get her out of my head. Now, i found my confidence to overcome my own self to approach her one day. The time will come & when it comes, happiness wont even come near to justify my feelings. And that very time the stars will be there smiling to the moon with sense of achievement and with moon glowing its smile back to acknowledge. A moment i wouldn't exchange anything for. I will make my intentions clear. Even as clear as it gets, some things will melt like the ice-cream i am holding on to. But i promise towithstand any melted feelings. I came prepared . I will leave prepared. Thnx 2005. Welcome 2006!"

Last but not least, my sense of gratitude will be to God, whom bring me to life up to this very year and for making me meet whoever i have met. Thank you for the ever so relying friends around me. Thank you for who i am now. Thank you... Happy New Year Everybody....

The scenery is as beautiful as 2005. A picture says a thousand words.

Renewed Hope & Interest

2005-12-30T11:35:00.000+08:00

The last 2 days has been fruitful for me, hanging wif my close friends. Wednesday, went a walking plus shopping spree wif Ass & Nerd to Bugis and Beach road. Bought a big sling bag. But i guess big doesn't justify the size. Its simply huge. I like!! I bought 2 cds oso... 311 & System of a down album. Its rare to see us shopping sia... But i like the rareness.... Will be waiting for our next shopping trip. It won't be soon though.

The hottest place to take pict in.... Toilet....

The next day which is Thursday, i have a frenly game against ACS barker road. We beat them for about 10 tries. we simply outshine them.... After the game, me & couple of rugby guys head town for dinner and chilling session. There we chat about our future, relationship and other stuff... From that chilling seesion, my rugby buddies renewed my confidence and rocketed it to a higher level. Thnx guys. Thnx God for bringing them in into my life. Thnx for the frens around me. I miss every single of them. And to the rugby guys : If that day really comes, i cant thank u all enuff sia... Now i feel theres purpose in this life. The 2 phrase i learn deeply: "I rather die trying than not trying at all..." & "If this gap close , there will be other gaps..."

Its Abandoned Girl's toilet

Mat Rep or 'Siao Gi na' of rugby

Me & Amir : High expectations

Wat day is today?

2005-12-26T01:42:00.000+08:00

Firstly, dis top portion of the blog will be dedicated to my working colleague, Abdullah, better known as Abby. Reason: Abby will fly to Sydney, Australia to continue his studies there. He will leave Singapore this Tues. But at least before he left, i get to play soccer alongside him and karaoke with him las Tues. To Abby, altho u wont be reading these, : I hope u excel in ur studies there and take care bro... Singapore Cable Car will miss ur services....

Karaoke session- Abby, the one holding the mic & on the left is my cousin whom is a cable car personnel. Yah u spot it... both are bald... hahaha

Abg Zul (my supervisor) choosing the songs

Thats me... Yah due to camera phone, the quality isnt great and yah.... my skill at taking pic sux i know..

Okay, dis bottom portion will be the christmas eve i experience. Not juz any ordinary christmas eve but a werking one.... Saturday morning starts as per normal where i head for work and was early summore. Everything turns out fine until my supervisor approach me to do OT. Despite the amount of skool work i have, i accept it but onli till 10pm which i insisted onli at 10 pm. Time pass and soon it was 8pm. With visitors flooding Sentosa, i felt restless of the working hours. It take a toll out of me. Some things cheer me up tho... Things like: Ajay bringing his family to take cable car and visit me... Get to see Max(my sec sch mate) wif his gf taking cable car.... A funny conversation wif customer which sounds like....

Me: Alighting here sir? or Are u staying on?

Customer: Is this Pearl Harbor? Pearl Habor?

Me: ????? (in my heart, "WTH") Dis is Harbor front... (screening my widest smile and at a certain stage laughter juz wanted to burst out)

And the day wasnt ending tt way oso. As time crawls to 9pm, my supervisor approach me again to extend my working hours to 12midnite... Tt is 15 freaking hours of werk... Reluctantly i accept.... Well, u guess it... i left work with a battered body and numb legs.... But thru all tt my supervisor, Ah Wong treat me McD... Christmas wont come at a better time than dis.... A time where my body cries for tranquility... Merry X'mas everybody.....

Ah wong relieving my duty while i enjoy my Double Cheese... Yum Yum

Double cheese never taste so good before.... esp during christmas eve....

Lemon souress

2005-12-23T03:59:00.000+08:00

Well lets recap.... its 4am now & i have yet to sleep coz i have to finish my drawings for pdd2 to be handed in tml.... manage to finish 2.... Tml theres a training session in the morning (actualli dis morning lah... as in later) but i dunno whether i can make it onot.... Tml my grandpap will stay over at my house for a month or 2 because he say he need a change of taste... I pay him a visit juz now.... and when i was about to go home he made me smile.... He actualli said "goodnite"..... I replied him and gave my widest smile..... He's the greatest... =)

New year's resolution : To be less vulgar (i m serious... dun laugh pls....)

Down to my last

2005-12-20T15:01:00.000+08:00

And to those to which we sing,
We are honored you let us in
I remember the thoughts of many things,
Of the glory that you bring

I was never the right one to dare to dream,
It's funny what this life has done to me now
You were always the only,
To help me see there was a road I must find,
A road that was mine

But I'm down to my last,
I'm standing here alone
Looking back, on it all
But I'm down to my last,
I'm ready but I'm wrong,
And I'm blind too

And to the world to which we sing,
Want to try to do us in
I remember your name and I know your face
Can't forgive and can't erase

I was never the right one
To bear the weight of something fueled by words
I'd learn to hate
You were always the only
To help me see that to love is to shine
In your world, blind

Destination : Benut

2005-12-19T01:06:00.000+08:00

Saturday was the day i played rugby at the Padang... yah the Padang... as prestigous as it gets.... It was against Singapore cricket club.... The attendance of our players was disappointing.... but nevertheless we manage to put in enuff players to match them.... I get to play winger for the first half... and it was a position i can onli dream of playing.... but i end up playing in tt position... wif guidance of players like Adi, Othman & Amir... it was quite fun actualli... hahaha.... we lost as usual...

After match we head to Arab strt for dinner... Zam Zam to be exact.... After satisfying our hungry selves... we head for sheesha... first time sia... but it was cool.... went home around 1am... quite late hor... And guess wat... i m blogging dis wif a painful swollen right leg... Yah.. thnx to the match.... sumbody stepped my right leg sia... wat a christmas present... furthermore as happening as it gets i brought my camera but the batt was low so no pics... Sianz...

Sunday was visiting johor time... go Benut to visit my aunt.... yess.... i drove wif a swollen leg... steady hor.... and dis time i brought camera wif batt charged... pics below...

Benut- My aunt's house

Simply Irresistable....

Hosts

Cuzzins

Jam on our return home

Damp Feelings

2005-12-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

Today was really a day i hope to forget coz its darn boring. Altho it started well coz i got to attend IA lab which is in the morning. Do some connections on the trial circuits and i feel confident on nxt wk test.

Was not in the mood today... Felt sleepy and useless. Non of the modules cheer me up today. Something tt lighten me up today is that at least Andy get to chill wif me after my class coz he got lesson at 4 and we finished at 3. So, i accompanied him as he indulged his late lunch. The rest of my classmates as usual went home. After skool, do some visiting at my grandpap place. He looks well and lively today and we actually chat. Chat about wat i am doing now. Then after tt accompany my parents to nearby BIG superstore at harborfront. My dad was surveying Mp3 player to buy. Jealous sia... haizz...

Again gg there(harborfront) bring my imaginations wandering. Tt very place is a special place for me. I grew up knowing tt place and its a nostalgic place for me. A place i will bring tt special sumbody ONE DAY (hehehe... if i have tt special person) for a walk at harborfront followed by mt faber and sentosa. Wah... Romantic isnt it? hahaha.... In my dreams!!! But i think i m not wrong to be a big dreamer...still waiting tt special sumbody to emerge.... =)

What's the worst that i can say? Things are better if i stay. So long and good nite, so long and good nite.

Sha_phat has left to sleep coz tml he got werk.... Arghhh..!

Smile is a long word...

2005-11-30T23:08:00.000+08:00

Well i juz wanna say tt today is my sleeping day. "Why?", u might ask. Skipped morning lesson bcoz cud not wake in time and my stomach upset contribute to the reason of my absence. So, i continue sleeping till 10 am and head to skool for 12-3 pm lesson. It was a long and draggy lesson which i find uninterested in. The lecturer adds in the bore.

Here i want to complain to myself. Complain bout wat? About me skipping morning lessons. Yah... So many lesson skipped sia... Very slacked oredi nowadays. Haizz... Sumbody pls wake my senses up. Theres no sense of urgency sia. Sad...

Oh yah... i saw Pris juz now but never really get to chat wif her coz she boards the train and i m alighting from it. But i m very happy to see her sia. Very long never see. Its been a month since i last met up wif her. Very long sia. Hope to meet up wif her one of dis days. Thats all folks... Enjoy!!!

Dis is my time...

2005-11-20T11:40:00.000+08:00

Will be posting a long post plus pictures.....

First of all, my season of inter poly-ite rugby games have juz ended last fri. We fared well as a team and manage to win 2 games out of 4. But we fared all 4 match wif full of intensity and dedication. Wif such attributes, a fruitful second place somewhat justify us the second place tt we are allocated. I wudnt be much happier than tt. From nothing, we are somewhere now. Sense of gratitude will be reached out ot my rugby teammates for guiding me thru all dis mnths. The journey has been smooth wif u all and its been pleasure playing wif u all. Thnx for landing me first rugby medal & i hope it wont be the last. *smiles*

After the prize presentation on friday, join half of the rugby guys for dinner at raffles burger king. After tt around 10pm meet Nerd at clark quay. Then meet Zhiwei, Eileen, Gary and Prada at a nearby coffeeshop. We all are attending a surprise gathering held by Ade for Zhi wei coz its his 19th birthday. We went to Party World KTV. First time go ktv sia. I was like, " Wah... happening sia....". After joining Ade and Zhi wei and birthday cake was cut and all. I was requested to sing a song to the birthday boy. Guess wat?... Yes.... It was Tong Hua.... I enjoy delivering it altho very paiseh... i hope it was gd... hehehe.. I had to leave the ktv at 12pm coz i got to report for werk on saturday morning. Gary was very nice to give me a lift to Bishan. Talked alot wif him in the car... Get to know him better.... A very great guy to know... Thnx Bro... As soon as i reach home i slept straight away.....

Saturday was a werking day and as for now Sunday noon, i m blogging away. Later got to look thru my notes for a lot of lessons i missed. Gotta to do some clean up to my room. Had to reject my mum's offer to follow her to visit relatives house. It seems very hectic.. But theres objective and i m gonna accomplish tt objective...

Lastly juz wanna say tt i missed some of my frens, those i seldom talk to, seldom met. My bzness contributes to the insufficient time to interact wif u guys. I promise i make time after dis... U are missed....

Lost but all is not lost.....

2005-11-12T23:38:00.000+08:00

Updating dis wif feeling of sadness and boredom mix together. IVP rugby have started and so far its 1 win 1 loss for us. I m yet to feature for skool but the coach ask me to be ready. I want to play!! Simple as tt. I want to show wat i can do and contribute to the team. Dis Monday against RP, i wud die for to play against them.

Well juz wanna say i m stuck in the lost feelings. My mind playing games wif me. Now i can feel the pressure. Thoughts often haunt me. Will i raise my white flag or theres still light thru the dark tunnel. I m left undecided and still confused. Concentration is a bit off. Maybe i m a changed man and maybe i m not. I know dis is illusion but i m no magician. So lets juz wait as i think i cant do much. Wheres my sense of direction?

Painful Fact

2005-11-07T02:36:00.000+08:00

Shall Move On.... Gradually

Hari Raya Feel

2005-11-03T10:14:00.000+08:00

I am blogging morning of Hari Raya which i feel i need to. I felt better than i felt yesterday nite. Dunno y. Above are pictures of my house and room tt has been totally changed. Nice rite? Here i want to let out my feelings tt i have hide for along time. I think i m falling for her and i doubt tt she know about it. Kept thinking of her and cant stop doing tt. I hope to know her well and with the closeness i hope i can make sumthing out of it. My confidence are in a low when talking or meeting her coz i still feel the nerves talking to her. Sumtimes how i iwish i cud b fluent and more confident. Asking her out seems impossible but yet w/o trying i wudnt know. I wudnt have met a nicer gerl. She certainly made me a better man. Y am i still trapped in dis shy personality of mine. Maybe i juz have to wait. Wait till she knows. But when she knows, confirm i will feel paiseh. but then again i hope she know about my feelings twds her. Juz cant stop thinking of u. =)

Festivity Close In

2005-11-01T14:56:00.000+08:00

I lost the mood of updating my blog for past few weeks, not bcoz i have nothing to post but sometimes i feel tt it is not necessary. My feelings entangled in a mixed for past few wks tt has left. Feelings sumtimes drips over a brimful cup tt hasnt been touched. Well feeling are juz feelings and theres nothing i can do but cheering me up myself wud be my agenda of my very day life. Even if its not on my side. As i am writing dis blows after blows of nagging occupy my deafening ears telling me to clean up my space. I must admit my room isnt the desired place to be looked at. But i m certainly gonna do sumthing about dis. Not now tho, as i m gg to buy some clothes for myself. Will b meeting my cuz at Suntec in an hour time.

Yesterday was the first day of skool and it does not goes as i wanted. I m suppose to be happy to meet up all my frens tt i miss for amnth of holidays. Started out well wif my grp project will be selected for exhibition and we must do some fine tuning to the poster. Then followed by lunch which came the pissed moment. I had brought bubble gum which was asked to buy by Pris when i went johor. She doesnt want to accept it when i offered her and she remarked as " My boyfren say cannot accept anything frm guys". I was like ... come on lah its onli gum... I am lying if i say i wasnt hurt. But then again i have no right to judge. Eventually the gums are distributed to my other frens which they happily appreciated. Well its juz gums, theres no need to ponder upon dis. Haizz... Will be leaving soon. I m gonna have my Pony sneakers. Yesh!!! To all my frens wherever it may be Happy Deepavali.... Selamat Hari Raya.... And Happy Holidays......

Left wif feeling of Discontent & Solitude..... =(

Empty Solitude

2005-10-18T23:21:00.000+08:00

Empty Solitude

Hidden in an empty solitude
Given the potential to unleash
While eyes exchange thoughts
Feelings often fell short

Feeling anticipating reluctance
Yet want to grab the chance
But not in position to lead
Yet please can lead to plead

Show yourself to me
Unmask yourself to breath
Would you still be lingering
Hiding behind the soulless inn?

Let it all out, scatter
Regrets are on the cards
Tranquility slowly creeps in
Threading the silence through a pin

Sha_phat
18 October 2005

All dis were written during my werking hours when i m bored. Wonders happen when u get bored. I m still amateur at writing poems. I hope u enjoy dis. Do leave some feedback at my tag. Ask me if u wanna know the meaning for every verse. Enjoy...... =)

Fasting Holiday

2005-10-04T16:44:00.000+08:00

This was written on 1st Oct while i was at work :

A hectic yet dreadful semester came to an abrupt end last wednesday where i have sat for the last paper which is Thermofluids 2. A semester which starts promisingly left me with absolutely nothing to offer. A tinge of regret can be felt in the air now as i am writing. A situation i should grab hold in the early stage is left unattended and without lead. All complaints and grievance would not make the situation any better. Maybe i have to wait two weeks time for the verdict. My prediction will be that i am guilty for every account and sentenced of life "regretful"-ment without bail. *sigh*

And check out these 4 words i sort of create :

Errant Disgust

Empty Solitude

Rampant Cry

Periodic Sole

Events on the holidays :

3rd Oct -Rugby Training (first training after break)

5th Oct -Rugby Training

6th Oct -Working

7th Oct -Rugby Training

8th Oct -Working

10th Oct -Rugby Training

12th Oct -Rugby Training

13th Oct -Working

14th Oct -Working

15th Oct -Friendly Match Vs Navy

17th Oct -Rugby Training

18th Oct -Working

19th Oct -Rugby Training

22nd Oct -Friendly Match Vs ?? (still pending)

23rd Oct -Working

24th Oct -Rugby Training

25th Oct -Working

26th Oct - Rugby Camp

27th Oct - Rugby Camp

28th Oct - Rugby Camp

29th Oct -Working

31st Oct -School Resume

Simple Equations

2005-09-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

Sunday = Thermofluids + Stress + Porridge - Fun (Nobody Online) = Boring ----- (1)

Wednesday = Thermofluids (I am so gonna die) - Confidence = Last Paper-------(2)

Sub (1) + (2) = I am so bored...... Hahahaha.....

Check out my vids.......

Full Of Anticipation

2005-09-16T21:59:00.000+08:00

Finally finish most of my modules dis week wif my heart glooming wif the entrance of examinations juz hiding near. Days of late home going contribute to the lethargic mind and body. Cant really escape tml attendance of earning extra pocket money in werking and tt is the only time i can rest my mind by observing different walks of life visiting our island. Intensive concentration has to be projected twds examination subjects. But no such action has been practised lately. Instead slack creeps in my ever so uncontrolled body and making me be uninterested in wat i do. Experiencing bitter regret.

Finished my final presentation on thurs. I juz feel sumthing was missing frm our performance or did i expect too much.....? Hmm.... But i at least i dare to say i am mesmerised by Confused presentation. Proud of u guys. But Ichibawa did very well too..... To all the my frens tt gg to have exam in few days time..... Wish u all gd luck!!!!! Wake Up!!!!!! =)

Hello

2005-08-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

"Hello" - Evanescence

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I am your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello I'm the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

Bitter Agony

2005-08-28T14:24:00.000+08:00

The week that has juz passed spelt dreadful for me. One after one bad incident came by. Iwill not discuss on these. If u wanna know juz ask me.... My knees is now starting to bother me. Back then to see ppl like myfrens and cuz whom have knee injury i would ask myself, "What be so bad?" Now i know the feeling. Luckily my rugby training have a break for a month. I need that to really recover. So the next training i will be hungrier than ever. I m hungry for a place in the 30-man team representing skool for IVP. Chances are still open. The team will be announced at the end the end of Oct. Road of recovery is very important.

Maths test has juz past last fri. I dun feel gd abt it altho i m bragging getting gd marks in tt test. I m actualli making my self happy and not to think of the mistakes i made. Wat is done...... is done. Now for my exams. I m sure i m within range of my expectations, but i must werk doubly hard to achieve tt. Ok guys...... Study hard for ur exams..... I end wif feeling of Sad Protrusion.......

Hatred Resides

2005-08-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

Ok .... This is how i feel about today's Mech II Practical lesson:

It sux Big Time........
Apparatus are of low quality........
DI and Lecturer SUX!!!!!.......

How are we going to excel when wat we are facing wif are in low class. How are we gonna prepare for our future like dis. Screw the department man. I am pissed and ashamed on wat i have done juz now. The apparatus which looks like Mickey Mouse doesnt even deserve have its shape like tt.

Genre of Life Spells Dark

2005-08-12T19:02:00.000+08:00

Hey people.......

Updating dis post wif an injured right knee is one of new things i encounter dis week. Yah i shall recap, i have an injured right knee....... The injury comes after a friendly match with St Andrew JC. Altho we kick their ass, we came home wif few injured players and i fall on the category oso. I was in pain tt nite. Sleep looks impossible. I felt the uneasiness in my knee.

Most of my frens convincingly ask "my-ever- so-stubborn-to-see-doctor attitude" me to consult a doctor. Yah end up i go see a doctor in Alexandra Hospital. Its a new experience for me. They made me sit at the wheelchair. Yah.... Wheelchair!!! I was like laughing in my heart... WTH.... The verdict : I had bruised knee ligament and was asked to retun for further check up. I was quite relieve actualli. I dun want the doc to say tt i m out for at least 2 months. I want to play for IVP. Well now i m at home resting.

Results at skool are all out. My test marks are satisfactory and i cud do much2 better. The most dissapointing has to be Pro-E. Wake up MAN!!!!!!!.... No time to slack..... yah tt is easier said than done... hahaha....... I m soon to compose a poem.... Wait for my poem guys.... i will b posting it for sure...... Stay healthy guys............. and btw Aaron Ass, "CAN I HAVE UR BF PIC IN MY PHONE?"......... Wat an ASS!!!! hahahaha

Back To Normal Healthy Life

2005-08-04T22:50:00.000+08:00

Have been down wif flu for couple of days oredi and it bugs me real bad. I was pissed off coz i feel everything is not rite. Flu is the suckiest thing u can have. Its juz irritating!!! Missed my training on Monday and wasnt really fully adapt on class lessons. Had Mech2 test y'day wif my flu but i think i am quite comfy about the outcome. Anxiously waiting for the results.

Decided to go for training today and it was a gd move coz my flu is gone each time i play rugby. But sadly i lost my contact lense again. Yes!!! Again!!! At the end of the training i was the dirtiest and it was like pig rolling on the mud. And i tot i will be clean after the training!!! I was wrong!!! I must wash my dirty boots and clothes. Receive 2 cuts on my thigh courtesy of training.

Life have been fun and joy dis wk. Mainly bcoz frens around me are happy. So i am happy too. If some frens are not tt happy, i will also feel uneasy for them. But so far so gd. I hope it will be dis way all the time. Tml is my Thermo test and i have not study yet. I'll b studying soon tho. After tml's test, the stress is certainly relieved. I hope to slack around wif my classmates after skool. Its been a long time since we slack. I hope we can chill........

Okay for now....... for i m gg thoroughly thru my thermo notes........ Wait for my next update frens..... Enjoy!!!!

Is It Really Fate?

2005-07-30T16:30:00.000+08:00

Let me start my long post wif my trip to Johor for a friendly rugby match against UTM (University Technological of Malaysia). My holidays is all about the trip where i set off on tuesday and retun on thursday. The trip worth the trip cause as a team we are taught a valuable lesson. To be a Team and Bond as a team. We are still far away from what we are capable of. I am certainly honoured and delighted to be featured in both match. Although we lost both matches, we left there wif our heads held high and lessons learnt. I am proud to be a part of the team. SP ruggers, everyone of u did urself proud. Gd job!!

Well it tot to return home wud be a better experience, but i was wrong. Depression sinks in. The same depression i left wif. Dis is for my special fren:

I cant stop thinking of u and i care about u a lot. Believe me a lot. The closeness tt we build have lead me to dis. I wasnt myself when the one wk tt i never get to see u or even hear frm u.Wat my heart says is tt i miss u a lot. I juz cant expressed these to words. But i know dis is a one way thing and i do not know ur feelings towards me. I guess u have no feelings twds me. The waves of life swept me into wilderness and now i m lost. I am totally lost. I tot i found someone whu can lead me but she is still uncertain. I guess it will be better if i drown.
( I am writng these wif Tonghua song playing in my comp. Ironic? I know u hate dis song and indirectly dis make me think of u.)
I think u know who u are......... =/

Sp Ruggers Fiercer Than Ever

Life Treatment

2005-07-23T00:28:00.000+08:00

Being Ignored & Cold Treatment

Missing Something & Confused

Exhausted & Clueless

Anxious & Eager

Life Really Hates Me.......

Your Eyes Stare Me In The Dark

And I Hope Those Eyes Don't Steal My Freedom

Still Left Wondering

Band Fever !!.....

2005-07-19T23:29:00.000+08:00

I juz return frm a jamming session wif Aaron, Tim, Ahmad, Shahrul and Nerd. Today is our second session and i can conclude it was ok. We are trying for the MM day talentime. Are very hopeful. I am surprised of them taking me as the backup vocals for Shahrul but am very honoured. =)

Dis wk is a bad rugby wk for me. Lost to Hwa Chong old boys last sat. Told off by my coach coz of my behaviour on field. Now i shall keep my bloody mouth shut. Damn !!!...

Attended 3 days of Bay beats last wkend. Had a swing of a time. Impressed by bands like naked breed and brandtson. Took some pics. Take a look below.

Currently am very happy surrounded by wonderful frens. U guys certainly make my day direct or indirectly. If u guys would ever ponder tt nobody is on ur side and u are lonely, i would secure u all tt u got a fren in me. I will always think of u guys. Dun worry. Juz give me a ring or drop me a msg. I m glad to entertain. =)

Esp to my sec skool fren, Timothy, : Take care bro... Enjoy ur studies Down Under.... I am looking fwd to play soccer wif u again..... Wish u lucks and success......

crowd watching brandtson

crowded pit

Brandtson and me ( fricking happy)

ZZZZZZ.......

2005-07-09T14:23:00.000+08:00

Juz woke up frm a 10 hour sleep. Yes, 10 hr sleep. I slept at 2 am dis morning and woke up at 12noon. All the insufficient sleeping hrs thru out the week is being accumulate and spent on dis 10 hr sleep. HaHa...

Y'day had maths mst test. I hope to do well in the test. I'll b very sad if i flop in tt test. Expectations were high. After test, i slack wif Madz, Aaron and Shahrul at Coffee Bean Holland V. Wat is very wierd is tt we actualli sat the same place where my first visit to Holland V. Tt time, i slacked wif Nerd, Ade and Pam, and tt came after exam which was few mnths ago. As always we talked about life tt have passed us by.

Well, so far life have its ups and down. A boring life tt is blessedly spice up by my wonderful frens and family and activities. Rugby and Cars have been a major part of my life now. If i were to pursue in rugby i hope to achieve greater heights. I am hoping to recover my fitness again. Its been a long time since i have to be physically fit. Tts a gd sign. =)

Down Wif Flu

2005-07-03T21:36:00.000+08:00

While i m blogging, i m down wif flu. Not feeling tt well. My throat killing me. Phlagm accumulated during past week agitate me. I feel restless but i know i cannot follow my weakness. Hope to recover for skool tml.

These past week has not been gd. I must improve in my fitness in order to stake my place in the rugby team. Now my position in prop is open wif addition of Francis in prop. But tt wont deter me coz i believe wif me soon in fitness shape, i will certainly give my all. 27th and 28th July, it is confirmed tt SP rugby will b travelling to JB for a frenly match there. Eagerly waiting for it.

My mission dis week is to memorize Tong Hua lyrics, thnx to Nerd whom wrote the lyrics for me. Then i can sing to Pris.... HAhahaha.... And maybe talentime...

Dis Tues is a special day for sumbody who is special to me. I hope tt sumbody can celebrate it wif me. U know whu u are..... =)

Holla...........

2005-06-22T23:19:00.000+08:00

Rugby.... I am enjoying every bits of the sport now. Learning every move from the more experience and they were really helpful and unselfish to spread their knowledge. I am still weak in scrum position and will consult the senior props for tips. Now my neck and back hurts. I hope its not serious. But i believe i'll recover soon.

Miss..... Well i kind of miss playing volleyball oredi. I suppose to attend volleyball elective but miss for 2 weeks oredi coz of unforseen circumstances. I am sure i will attend nxt wk lesson. To tell u the truth i miss my time wif my best friend. I must admit rugby has taken much of my concentration. but i m still thinking of the times me & my best fren had together. The drawings to the poem writing to the vandalise table to the chatting of life background. I miss those times man. I am oso missing the lamers outing. I know each of u are bz wif skool werk. Concentrate on wat u got to do guys. Gd luck for ur projects. I shall wait for the next outing patiently. =)

sha_phat juz left